20 Bits of Accidental Wisdom & 10 Life Lessons from 2010
As 2010 draws to a final close, I wanted to share one final piece with you before we flip the calendar to show “2011.”
Over the course of my first annual “renegade” reviews, I’ve looked back on “the year that was” and hopefully have given you some background and insight on how and why my writing, life and blogging have developed and changed over the last 12 months. The year was a very formative one, in which I found much needed direction.
With no further ado, here are 20 bits of “accidental wisdom” that were somehow written by my hand in 2010, and 10 invaluable life lessons that I learned over the last year — and am sure I will continue to learn more about in 2011 :)
What did you learn this year?
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20 Bits of Accidental Wisdom from 2010
1. “When you reject a shortcoming as a failure, what remains is only a varying degree of success.” -January 2010, For Dreamers to Circle the Wagons
2. “Even on the darkest and most dreary of days, the sun shines still — if we look high enough.” -February 2010, The View from Above
3. “Within the heart of every being, there lies a seed of Hope.” -February 2010, The Small Stuff
4. “Our thoughts reflect perfectly like a mirror to reveal the inner workings of our minds — the subconscious perceptions that we hold about our individual senses of Self and all of those around us.” -April 2010, Thoughts are a Reflection of Ourselves
5. “Politics is like business, but the business is people. And there’s something naturally unsettling when real people are treated only like figures, tools and profit.” -May 2010, The Journal I Never Kept: The Interview
6.“The ego refuses to forgive because it wishes to hold another as a hostage. Refusal of reconciliation is it’s the final line of defense: the last bullet in a chamber of attempts at redemption that have long since been expended.” -May 2010, Forgiveness is Liberating: Free Yourself and Others
7. “The lessons contained within those similar-sounding speeches of motivation to graduating students all over the world are meant to inspire one thing: living with honesty.” -May 2010, The Journal I Never Kept: The Echoes
8. “A true leader stays committed to the message and the greater task at hand, not for those who are following, but because the leader believes in the message itself.” -May 2010, Speak As If All Listen, But None Follow
9. “Devoid of the clutter of noise, we are nothing more or less than in existence; we are because we are and the universe is because it is. Engulfed in simple silence and nothing, the mind is quiet, the heart is open, and the Soul becomes clairvoyant; this is the bliss of nothingness.” -May 2010, The Clutter of Noise and the Power of Silence
10. “The irony is something beautiful. As we suffer, we become entrapped in our suffering. We cannot think of or focus on anything but ourselves and our pain. And yet, when we make a concerted effort to focus on others–especially, giving to others every day, even through seemingly trivial acts of kindness and smiles and good deeds–the pain and suffering in which we have become entrenched begins leave us.” -June 2010, How to Alleviate Emotional Pain and Suffering (By Giving to Others)
11. “We are each born as the spiritual equivalent to a fresh block of stone. Life is our mason; it shapes a statue of who and what we become, underneath.” -June 2010, You Are a Stone; Life is Your Mason
12. “When we strive to become happier and more positive, work to foster a stronger and more compassionate spirit and become better people, we explicitly place attention on the development of ourselves for the definite betterment of those around us.” -June 2010, How to Focus on the ‘Self’ Without Being Selfish
13. “Abandon what is wrong. Relinquish what you fear. See the wonders of life. Kill your ego and escape your mind.” -July 2010, Trapped in Your Head? How to Escape Your Mind.
14. “What if we strive to cultivate genuine meaning in every human interaction?” -July 2010, Treating Others With Compassion
15. “Too many souls shall pass idly through life without blooming into their fullest and most vibrant of colors.” -July 2010, Four Life Lessons Taught by Nature
16. “Within each of us beats a single heart. That heart dictates a rhythm, a flow, a swirling state of constant change and progression and evolution. But there is a bigger heart, somewhere beyond; something that dictates a rhythm, a flow, a swirling state of constant change and progression and evolution not merely within our own skin but among and around all of us — everyone.” -September 2010, Embracing the Commonality of Love: Love’s Language
17. “Because pain is such a widely shared trait or ‘affliction’ of the human species, it’s as if there exists ‘one suffering’ that each of us similarly endures to various degrees.” -September 2010, One Suffering: Beyond Uniqueness, 6 Hardships We All Endure
18. “Self-love really is about recognizing that there is no externality that human beings require to achieve completeness, happiness or inner contentment. All that we require is wholly within.” -October 2010, How to Love Yourself in a World Designed to Foster Self-Hate
19. “A romantic relationship between two human beings also exists in an ever-changing and constantly evolving state. The relationship, like the individuals within it, will ebb and flow, change and regress, evolve and encounter states of difficulty and strife. It will go through periods of growth and regression.” -November 2010, Relationships: How to Avoid the Someone Special Crutch
20. “Through our eyes alone — revealing gateways to the human soul — we attempt to connect with strangers who we are likely to never even see again on a deep and spiritual level.” -December 2010, Strongheart: Harvesting Compassion in the Faces of Strangers
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10 Life Lessons from 2010
1. Fail in Order to Get Ahead - Success can only come after a series of failures. In other words, you need to fail in order to ultimately get ahead. Instead of fearing setbacks, rejection and shortcomings, learn from them and embrace them as steps to the final goal.
2. Give Beyond Your Means - The most sincere method of giving is to give beyond your means, and even at your inconvenience. This is to be truly dedicated to the ideal of compassion, love, and selflessness.
3. Determination Trumps Doubt - Doubt is natural, but determination will ultimately overcome self-doubt and feelings of unworthiness. Staying determined means remaining fluid and open to detours, innovation, change, and bumps in the road on your path to your dreams.
4. Find Direction By Getting Lost – If you don’t know what you’re looking for, you can’t ever find it. If you’re like me, you can only find your true direction in life by getting completely lost in it, first. Lose yourself in order to find yourself.
5. We Often Confuse “Love” for Attachment, Addiction – Too often do we mistake “true love” and romantic love for what is actually attachment — even addiction. These unhealthy afflictions are misportrayed in popular culture and the media to be “true love.” True love is neither attachment nor addiction, because love is not pain and love does not depend wholly upon another for one’s own happiness and sense of being complete or whole.
6. Everybody Can Be Saved, But You Can’t Save Everybody – Everybody is capable of being saved. No one is condemned to failure in life by their birth, for we all command the same ability and power — the power of choice. Even still, although everybody can be saved, you cannot save everybody. We must trust that each individual is on his or her path and that oftentimes we cannot ourselves save that person — in the end, many people must first learn to save themselves.
7. You Can Always Try Harder – You matter how hard you think you are working, striving, and achieving; you can always try harder. You can always be better. You can always do more good for others. Break what you perceive to be your limits.
8. Because Everything is Change, Anything Can Change - Everything in our universe is in a constant state of change, progress and regression, ebb and flow, life and death. Because everything in our universe is change, anything and anyone can change: any living circumstance can improve; any life can be saved; any relationship can be bettered; anything can be achieved.
9. Love is an Inflation-Proof Currency - Love is a currency, a language, that knows no bounds or limitations to the human species. Love has an utmost — an infinite — capacity to be nurtured, grown, shared, given, distributed freely without chance of it ever being lost, taken away, or fully expended.
10. Be Thankful More Than Necessary - Gratitude is a cornerstone to happiness. When you are thankful more than even feels necessary, happiness is reaped, and goodness ensues in everyone around us.
Happy new year. :)
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*This piece is a part of personal development blogger Abubakar Jamil’s “Life Lessons Series” at AbubakarJamil.com!

Flickr photo credit: wonderlane






12 COMMENTS... READ 'EM BELOW AND SHARE A THOUGHT
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Matt Langdon
I’ve just been criticized by the inlaws for giving beyond our means. We should be “saving for a college fund or setting up an investment portfolio” instead of providing water for a village for 25 years. It’s frustrating.
Thanks for the review.
Dec 31 2010 / 11:12 pm
Dave Ursillo
That's the ol' mindset of the "zero sum game," that there are only so many slices of the pie to go around until there is none left. If you feel compelled to defend your philanthropic actions (which, really, speak for themselves!) try to explain that there needn't be a "either/or" decision in the first place. It's not, "either I can help provide clean water to a village for 25 years, OR saving for college education and setting up a portfolio." Both can occur at the same time. :)
Jan 03 2011 / 09:01 am
Abubakar Jamil
Dave,
Great lessons and thank you so much for being a part of the Life Lessons Series.
Jan 01 2011 / 03:01 am
Dave Ursillo
Thank you for inviting me to participate, Abubakar. It was an honor :)
Jan 03 2011 / 09:01 am
Tricia Hurtubise
I really appreciate your insight and that way in which you share it with others. I have read a lot of self-help books in my life and in my 41st year, I finally realized that what I was craving wasn’t instruction on how to live a “better” life but inspiration. I find your blog inspiring. Thank you.
Jan 01 2011 / 10:01 am
Dave Ursillo
Tricia, thank you so much for your thoughtful comment :) You seem to have a natural draw towards personal development -- are there any speicific topics you would like me to tackle? Email me any time dave(at)daveursillo.com :)
I am honored and thrilled that you find my blog to be inspiring. I will work very hard throughout the New Year to raise my writing and the blog to an even greater level of inspiration to you and everyone else!
Dave
Jan 03 2011 / 09:01 am
Jessica Rosen
Dave, this is a wonderful post. I think my favorite of the first batch is Number 8: “A true leader stays committed to the message and the greater task at hand, not for those who are following, but because the leader believes in the message itself.” -May 2010. It’s a good reminder that we best lead by example and being true to ourselves. People will fall in with you if they’re of like mind. There is no point in holding a test group to find out what you believe, after all. As for the second batch, I couldn’t pick a favorite. Just kept nodding through it all! Thank you for the thought-provoking post.
Take care,
Jess
Jan 05 2011 / 08:01 am
Dave Ursillo
I think most people who call themselves leaders have earnest and true intentions. The problem comes from what naturally ensues with positions of influence/power -- leaders get addicted or attached to what comes from influence/power like job position, social status, followers, a stage to speak from, etc. Then, being a leader becomes about RETAINING these extras more than the actual message that led them to their position in the first place.
Thank you Jess! :)
Jan 05 2011 / 02:01 pm
Jessica Rosen
I agree it's a factor for many, perhaps even most, of those who rise to power. I do like to think some scrabble to retain their position out of a genuine belief in their ideals and the thought they can help others in that position. Yes, I'm a pragmatic idealist.
Really love trading thoughts like this with you, Dave. Thanks for a forum for these sorts of discussions.
Take care,
Jess
Jan 06 2011 / 02:01 am
Marie G
I always look forward to reading your posts, Dave. I’ve had such a busy schedule that I don’t always stop to comment although I always take something from your writing to apply to my life. I had to come back and comment because #10 on your first list has been continuously repeating in my mind. It is so easy to make a pity party for yourself and let your negative emotions and stress multiply and even manifest physically. It was discouraging to hear one of my family members say to me this week “You know that when it is time for you to need help, that’s when no one gives a damn.” If everyone felt like that, then of course that is how it is going to be. You can let it pour when it rains or you can radiate sunshine.
Thanks for another great post
Marie
Jan 07 2011 / 10:01 pm
Dave Ursillo
Marie, thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts! I really do believe that the most efficient and effective way to break free from being "trapped in our heads" is to reach out and give ourselves to others. It breaks the spell and reminds us of everything else going on around us.
I'm very happy to have you as a reader. Thanks again for your comment and please let me know if there's anything I can do for you :)
Dave
Jan 08 2011 / 05:01 pm
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