The Curious Use of Asterisks (And How to Become One)
- By: Dave Ursillo
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Blend in. Stand out.
For all my life, given the choice I would always, far and away, prefer to blend in than to stand out; rather melt away quietly, unobtrusively, with the bobbing waves of pedestrians along the city street than to stand upon a soap box and preach to the masses.
But as I grew older, my preference would become challenged, time and again.
There then came handfuls of occasions where, confronted with decision, my heart suddenly became arrested; paralyzed, not with fear or unwanting or hesitation, but from an unbearable calling to not blend in any more, but rather, to stand out.
My breath fell short and terse; desperate for air. My stomach knotted and churned, telling me “Just sit, just blend in,” but it was of little use.
Only upon acting — and forcing down every want and will to just melt away, to just blend in — would my heart be revived from its paralysis and beat once more.
So, I stood up. I stood out. I became an asterisk.
Little did I know at the time that quietly choosing my spots to become an asterisk — rising up instead of blending in, when my heart really called for me to — were the origins of my personal sense of becoming a leader…. even though no one was following.
The Curious Use of Asterisks
The asterisk is one of my favorite symbols. Its used so sparingly in print, that what gives it life and meaning is, in fact, its rarity.
When it is used, it stands out. And from seeing it alone, our minds are called to attention. Eyes dart to it. The asterisk, albeit quietly, conveys so much: an exception to the rule; an outcast, an outlier, an exceptional point in need of further examination and contemplation.
The asterisk means so much, yet it does so little. It is irreplaceable.
Imagine being an asterisk, yourself. Imagine speaking so rarely that when you do, all eyes and ears fixate upon you. And that the words you choose to then speak are so potent, so capable, and so rife with meaning that they captivate the room and spark flurries of fire and good.
This is what it means to be a leader in your life.
And, there’s a simple way to begin to explicitly cultivate your own very personal sense of leadership: discovering what matters to you most; practicing standing up and standing out when your heart calls out to you.
All it really takes is a bit of attention, a bit of willpower, and placing an asterisk next to the tasks, duties and passions that sing to your soul.
How to Use Your Asterisks
Cultivating a devout and very personal sense of leadership begins with knowing what calls out to you. You needn’t conquer the world and every one of its problems; only what issues, duties, priorities speak to your soul.
Imagine a list of ten million duties, callings and jobs; every conceivable position and passion and hobby known to humankind: next to which would you place yourself?
What activities, what purposes, what longings in life would you mark with an asterisk, saddle up next to and make your own? List some. Right now.
This list is what begins to defines your sense of leadership.
Own it. Make it truly yours.
These are your asterisks: when they call to you, stand up. Stand out. Become an asterisk, yourself.
This is your personal initiation into the rank of an unleader revolutionary; a world-changer in less than a whisper; a bona fide do-gooder; a leader without followers.
Flickr photo credit: PinkMoose
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TheAndrewOlson
Awesome. I love your blog David and this is such a good post. Asterisks are a perfect symbol for what you’re referring to. It makes me think about the areas in which I want to be that asterisk. And I think for me, I like to be an asterisk for the status quo. Because whenever people get too comfortable in their habits, trouble is right around the corner. By putting an asterisk next to that safe, comfy pattern, it really causes people to wake up and become more conscious.
Jan 25 2012 / 04:01 pm
DaveUrsillo
@Andrew Olson – Hey Andrew!! Right on brother. The status quo is a dangerous place because it seduces people into a comfort zone: it feels good, cushy and safe, but lulls us into stagnancy and can further deter people from doing right, good and moral things when the status quo turns dark (see any example from history of the worst of human nature coming out).
That’s why I say it’s a good habit to be a bit defiant, to know when and how to the break rules — it’s healthy for the human spirit to remain free at its core.
Keep shaking up the status quo dude. And, more than that, help remind people of what the status quo *is* — bring attention to what we take for granted!
Dave
Jan 25 2012 / 07:01 pm
Syndee_Stein
Such stellar timing, my friend. Just today I’m fiercely focused on shifting a blending in and being adaptable pattern into speaking my truth + letting other people be uncomfortable if they are. It’s easy to think that I’m being kind by being adaptable, but I’m not. It’s not kind. It’s cowardly. It’s letting my fear run me. It’s not believing that people are strong + that I should/could protect them. The status quo tells us that people are weak. We aren’t. We humans are amazing, adaptable, regenerative, and potent. But we get weak when people treat us like we are. So I’m being an * by treating people like they are strong and being truer, fiercer + more of an asterisk (I love that it has the word *risk* in it!)
Jan 25 2012 / 10:01 pm
DaveUrsillo
@Syndee_Stein - There's a fine line, isn't there Syndee, between remembering to use your prudence and good judgment with what you do (knowing it will affect others) and remaining fearless that what you say might stir the pot.
What matters most, I think, is remembering to consider the outcomes (for yourself and others) but further trusting what you're putting into the work, what you say, what you do... in other words, does it come from love and goodness, compassion and selfless giving, simple happiness?Does it promote fairness and freedom? And so on, and so on...
It's never as black and white as we might think. Such is life :) But when you come from a good place and remember the best interests of others, there is rarely anything to ever regret.
Jan 26 2012 / 09:01 am
Ken Wert
Hey Dave!
Great post! As I was reading it, the image of George Washington kept creeping in. He was just like that. Spoke seldom. But the power of his character and the rarity of his speech made each word something to hear.
Thanks for your leadership, Dave. It is truly appreciated, my friend!
Jan 29 2012 / 04:01 am
DaveUrsillo
@Ken Wert - Not a bad leader to use as an example of a real-life asterisk, Ken! :) Thanks for offering your thoughts, as always my friend.
Jan 30 2012 / 09:01 pm
DaveUrsillo
Hey Bethany! It’s awesome to hear that your dad embodies that “asterisk” quality. I think that even as writers like ourselves, as much as we “say” in writing, that we can always boil down the content that we produce to make it stand out more — whether literally saying more in writing less, or deliberately hand-crafting each sentence with pure potency.
Keep shining :)
Jan 30 2012 / 09:01 pm
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