** Update: Subscribe to DaveUrsillo.com by email and you’ll receive the “Talk I Never Gave” as a gorgeous, 19-page e-book!! **
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How do you tell a conference of 500 of some of the most talented and ambitious game-changers around that — in spite of their noble aims, world-shifting aspirations and even with their current successes — they’re all… kind of going about it wrong?
Well, at Chris Guillebeau’s World Domination Summit (WDS) in Portland, Oregon this past weekend, I didn’t quite get the opportunity.
A few months ago I was totally surprised to have been selected as a potential speaker at WDS. All 500 conference-goers voted on about a dozen “attendee-led” workshop proposals, including my own. What I submitted to Chris’ amazing team of volunteers was called, “How to Lead Without Followers.”
Well, I never got the opportunity to present the workshop, but simply being included in that list of potential presenters (some wildly successful authors, speakers, bloggers, businesspersons and entrepreneurs) was truly an incredible and humbling honor.
And yet, as I sat in the crowd in Portland this past week — as one of five-hundred faces — I couldn’t help but drift into vivid daydreams of what I would say, and how I would say it, as if I was on that stage after all.
After red-eyeing back to Boston from Portland early this morning, I wrote the speech as it flowed to the forefront of my mind; raw and hardly-formatted, authentic and in free form. Read it in your head as you would on stage, in a group, in front of a crowd… or however you please.
Whatever you do, use your imagination.
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The World Domination Summit Talk I Never Gave
there’s truly a special feeling among the room here– and I think you feel the same thing.
it’s not a pat-ourselves-on-the-back sort of thing. it’s an indefinable, indistinguishable, impossible-to-totally-describe sensation of what brought us all here. that’s what is so special about coming together for an event like this.
if it’s here at the World Domination Summit, or at a ballgame for your hometown team, or at a fashion show… you and that crowd of complete strangers are brought together for something beyond your differences.
there’s a sensation of unabashed unity, a common denominator among us, a shared foundation of support and learning that makes us each a complete equal to those sitting around you. you share a passion, an interest, a hobby, an “appreciation of,” and upon that humble basis you are suddenly interwoven with hundreds and thousands of amazing and unique people, in a very special way.
but what is it about WDS that feels so special to us here today?
in spite of the titles and taglines of all of the wonderful workshops and spectacular speeches this weekend in Portland, you know, I really don’t think that “special feeling” we all feel has been about attracting a following… or gaining popularity… or achieving mega-noticeable goals.
what has united us is far less about writing and speaking, or tweeting and SEOing.
so, what is it that brought us here?
Well, there’s location-independence, lifestyle design, entrepreneurship, authorship, blogging, social media and much more, but, even still, the World Domination Summit promises to one major encouragement… one special take-away… one thing, one reason why we’re all here: to lead.
Lead in your field, lead in your line of work, lead your life, lead among your communities, lead in your industry…
Yes, every one of these speakers is here to intrigue you, to entice you, to encourage you and to absolutely implore and even demand you to lead. Think to the shared message each presenter has spoken, the true reason that drew us here and that we each feel cascading and flowing between us in this room:
- take personal responsibility
- take the initiative
- take charge
- take the time
- take a chance
- take advantage of the moment
- take hold of all of the wonderful opportunities that lay before you.
that. is. leadership.
but we don’t call it that.
what i’m here to ask you today is, ….why not?
How to Lead Without Followers
the message I’m here to deliver is an “alternative leadership” philosophy — really, a mindset. a different perspective on leadership and what it means to be a leader — that we arent used to hearing on the news, or discussing with people or simply thinking about in our own heads.
i call this alternative leadership philosophy, Lead Without Followers.
….what do you think when you hear that phrase? what sensation or emotions or thoughts spring forth from within you? if you’re like me when I first thought of this little phrase… do you think it’s backwards? nonsense? a complete contradiction? outright hypocritical?
to be honest, I wouldn’t blame you for saying right now, “you know, guy-whose-name-I’ve-already-forgotten-because-I-just-heard-your-name-for-the-first-time-and-really-don’t-know-who-you-are… you’re on stage right now, in front of a massive PowerPoint slide that reads “Lead Without Followers”… while you stand in front of an audience of 500 f$!*&ing people!”
….fair point :)
Before we go any further, we should step back. I want to introduce myself and tell you a little bit about my story. after all, the reason we’re all here is to connect with one another as human beings, and to share our human stories.
my name is Dave Ursillo (since you’ve all probably already forgotten)
I’m a 25-year-old writer from Rhode Island currently living in Boston, Massachusetts. And outside of simply calling myself a writer because writing is truly my deepest passion in life, I suppose I would also call myself a leader.
Although I’m not quite sure why.
when I was young, still watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and pretending to be a superhero in my backyard, my parents would tell me that my teachers said I was a leader among my peers. I had no idea what that meant, and i also didn’t care much (“…Did Mrs. Stanley mention that I scored 2 goals in recess yesterday?!”).
- I’m not sure if hearing this as a young kid planted proverbial seeds in my head, but as I grew up and got to the age of around 12, I began taking a strong interest in government and the ways politics worked.
- By 13 or 14, I felt like I could actually shoulder the responsibility of being a leader, and felt that I should take a huge leap of faith and run for class president, which would take effect the following year as a freshman in high school.
- And then, by the age of 15, September 11th, 2001 occurred……….
…and suddenly, the need to be the best leader that I could be — in a world that appeared to so desperately need it — became the sole, single, solitary priority in my young life.
I naturally felt the draw of a leader, a calling to leadership, but who was I to lead?
From this point, my story goes a little like this:
- 4 consecutive years of elected student government (didnt really like it)
- recipient of the Military Order of the World Wars Bronze Award as an Army ROTC cadet with the Bay State Battalion in college (i write about flowers, not exactly a military dude)
- contributing writer, sectional editor, and eventual editor in chief of the only official student newspaper at my Alma matter, the College of the Holy Cross, and acting as one of two student-liasons to the dean of students about on-campus affairs (i got named as a defendant in a federal lawsuit, which kinda sucked…)
- meanwhile I worked and interned in 5 federal and state governmental offices over 6 years from 2003 to 2009
- and as a “body man” (not body double… or body guard… or because of my incredible, hulk-like physique. the job woulda more accurately been called, “assistant bitch”) to a popular gubernatorial candidate in 2009
i found problems and had qualms with just about every one of these experiences, and was ultimately turned away from them or simply realized i was not enthusiastic and passionate enough about them to invest my career and truly my life into them as fully as i possibly could have.
…and i began to wonder what was wrong with me.
why couldnt i seem to find any true “fit” to my deeply rooted passion for helping people, and serving others, and doing good, and making positive change in the world?
why could i not find the right field of leadership that suited my talents and skills, as well as my passions and drives…?
what was wrong with me?
one night when i was still living in washington dc shortly after my White House internship and as the international economy truly imploded across the globe — this was even before i was a body man a few months later in 2009 — i found myself battling a very odd and uncharacteristic bout of insomnia.
i was sitting in my really nice apartment in the nation’s capital, feeling very lonely, and lost, and helpless.
and i couldnt sleep.
so, as a true writer, i grabbed my journal. it was a cool night but i wanted to be outside so i wheeled my computer chair onto my little cement patio, bundled up a bit and wrote to the glow of the street lights below.
……what was wrong with me?
i remember looking to the stars for answers, and hearing no response. i remember looking across the street and seeing dim flickers of televisions in dark apartments and wondering who was inside… what they were doing with their lives… what drove them… what held them back….
i remember replaying the experiences i just described to you, over and over again in my head. all those fields of leadership. politics, government, journalism, military, athletics…
and i tried in that moment to find the missing link.. the hiding key… what was evading me so well and spinning me into a confused and desperate state at 22 years of age. and then, i remember writing,
“I know in my heart that I am a leader. But who am I to lead?”
you see, ingrained in my mind was a social paradigm, a cultural meme,
something that dictated i was a follower, not a leader. that I needed to “work my way up” to be any sort of “real” leader. that i needed to play the game, invest my entire life proving something to someone for some set of reasons i didn’t agree with, but were (apparently) unquestionably unchangeable, static, stagnant, permanent and forever.
and when i thought of that possibility, i felt dead inside.
I refused to invest 10, 20, 30, even 40 years of my life or longer to “play the game”, to kiss up to powerbrokers and shake hands with assholes who think theyre better than you for wearing a nicer suit, and all for the possible opportunity to maybe, just hopefully, “some day” far away have barely a chance to maybe express my deeply rooted love of others and my want to serve people and my need to share kind and positive and intrinsically good messages to inspire others to live better, right now, and to help others do the same.
but everywhere i had been looking, there were rules, regulations, confinements and constrictions that made you play the game.
in a system that requires you to play games with real human beings, encourages to throw out your moral character and your values…. who even knows if by the point where i could have possibly done some good by elevating my way through the system, reachign some place or position of genuine power and status and influence… who knows if I’d even still be a shred of my former self… or if I’d just be another corrupted, compromised “player” who cut corners and cheated himself out of who he truly was… just to get ahead.
i read that line over and over again in my journal:
“I know in my heart that I am a leader. But who am I to lead?” and in a moment that i will always remember, without knowing what i was thinking or why, i wrote, “Is it possible for one to lead, without having others follow?”
and suddenly, everything that I thought I knew about leadership changed.
what is leadership? and what does it really mean for someone to be a leader?
One’s ability to lead — your drive, your passions, your talents, your loves and wishes, your dreams — your ability to lead your life by good example, by your own choosing and in your own unique ways….. who says we need others to give us permission to do that?
does anyone outside of our individual self give us power or permission to take charge, personal responsibility, to take positive action, to fight the status quo, to overcome acts of evil and indifference, to inspire, to take up the torch and carry it on, and on, and on, in the darkest of nights?
No!
no. the answer is simply, No.
And so for what reason would we ever say that you are not a leader… because you do not have followers?
and command an audience of hundreds? or wear a fancy suit? or get called Senator or Congressperson? or make 6-, 7-, or 8-figure salaries a year? or drive an expensive car?
don’t these things, these social qualifiers of success — that we all innately recognize and subconsciously believe qualify someone as “successful” and “powerful” and “influential” and, thus, an “expert” or “pro” or “leader” — are not these things what corrupts people, and distracts our attention, and clouds our judgement, and stains the purity of our souls?
why should we rely upon these things to tell us and the world at large that we are leaders when we can lead by noble and good example more purely and freely and boldly without them??
….although the name of this session is “how to lead without followers” the truth is that here today, i’m not going to deliver the “how” part, only the “why”.
now is simply the time to deliver the “why”.
because somehow, some way, i think i want to leave it up to you — each and every of you, in your own unique way, in all of your walks of life, with your own ambitions and longings and dreams to guide you — to determine the “how” for yourselves.
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*Update 6/8/2011 – thanks to the overwhelmingly positive response I’ve received from this piece, I’m acting without hesitation to begin writing a comprehensive e-book on Lead Without Followers… :)
Flickr photo credit: Chris Guillebeau
87 Comments - Share Your Thoughts!
Darius Gant
GREAT post! For the longest, I have been thinking about your theme “Leading Without Followers”… Now that you’ve illustrated the meaning so clearly, it all makes so much sense. It’s amazing how, as a culture, we can obsess over obtaining a certain status so that we may finally begin “leading.” (and like you said, waiting decades to do so).
I think the “why” for becoming a leader is to create change for the purpose of life progression. You don’t need a massive amount of money, followers, or a status to do this. Over the past few years, it has become increasingly obvious to me that the person who has had the most profound impact on my life (as a leader) hasn’t had any of those things. It was simply one person trying to make a significant impact in my life (and theirs)…and for me it meant more than any amount of money, status, etc could provide. The amazing thing is that this persons impact came because they truly LED their own life and executed the vision they had created for it. This served as a huge example for how I would LEAD my life.
Thanks my man!
Jun 07 2011 / 06:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
Cause, and effect...Our cultural understanding of leadership has slipped into thinking certain effects (ie, those that we *innately* characterize as representing someone's material success) make someone a leader more than the causes that carried them in their journey to that point.
One can Lead Without Followers and still become a well-known, popular, conventional leader... the point is to place an empowering and humble emphasis upon the CAUSE of one's leadership, which should motivate and help and inspire people to become leaders in their own lives.
Right on, Darius, you hit the nail on the head! Thank you my friend, humbly and happily!
Jun 08 2011 / 06:06 pm
Farnoosh
Darling Dave, you never once mentioned this and I had totally forgotten about it – I had voted and signed up for your session – whatever they had asked us to do. I remember it clearly now. I think it’s beyond an honor that you were on the roster, my dear and this speech would have floored me. You are amazing and you will be on that stage next year and if anyone dares forget your name, I am your body guard. By then, I’ll have some martial arts training too.
Very original. Hugs for a true leader among us….. !!!
Jun 07 2011 / 09:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
Beyond an honor is right, my friend Farnoosh!!I felt like... oh hey, small fish, meet "big pond"! It was such a kind honor to be included and, in spite of the title being Lead Without Followers, it's nice to hear someone else say that the message resonates with them. Although deep down in my heart, I already know the message is one that the world needs to hear, time and again, from me and many others.
Martial arts training would be a bonus, but just promise not to kick my ass, thanks :)
Thank you warmly for everything.
D
Jun 08 2011 / 07:06 pm
Greg Berg / Enso Photo
Hi Dave; great post-WDS piece! Hope you get chosen to speak next year. We talked briefly in the food-truck line at the after party. I currently make a living as a photographer and designer (among other things), but once upon a time I was also a “body guy” for a politician; my actual title was “Special Assistant to the County Executive” which also confused the hell out of people! I had spent a number of years working in the political arena in various capacities, but after seeing the soul selling that went on across the board and then getting throw under the bus myself by the “good guys” (as I had once thought), I vowed to build a life based on helping others through creative work and doing the sorts of things that fill me with passion and joy. Experiencing 500 others with the same mindset at WDS was mind-blowing and I’m still trying to synthesize what it all meant/means to me and how to go forward. Continued success with your work!
Jun 07 2011 / 09:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
The way you describe the change in your lifestyle, "I vowed to build a life based on helping others ... doing the sorts of things that fill me with passion and joy." is remarkable and jumped off the page at me.I hope our experience with the group in Portland will help to fuel your fire and do more excellent work. Keep in close touch and email me at any time if there's any way I can help you in your journey - dave(at)daveursillo(dot)com !!
Jun 08 2011 / 07:06 pm
Greg Berg / Enso Photo
Will definitely keep in touch Dave! Thanks for the contact info. Very cool to see all the positive response this piece is deservedly getting!Jun 09 2011 / 11:06 am
Heather
love your candidness!
I took a writing course in college a couple years ago, and the professor made us “free write” 20 minutes at the beginning of every class. Sometimes he gave us a subject, sometimes he didn’t. After 15 minutes, and everyone was staring off into space he would start class with, …”while we wait for Heather to finish writing…”.
I’ve made some of the hardest decisions by sitting down and just writing. I’ve had the majority of my “ah ha” moments, just by sitting down and writing. This (your non-speech) is a perfect example of your TRUE feelings and what goes on in your head at such an event or any given day. I think that many people are afraid to open up and share and just GIVE themselves to something that is NOT the norm. Your lucky you discovered this at such a young age and are willing to put yourself OUT THERE.
Sorry, you didn’t get to present at this particular event – it sounds like you had a blast anyway!! I’m sure there will be MANY more.
:0) Heather
Jun 07 2011 / 09:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
Heather, I'm not exactly sorry or regretful that I didn't get the chance to present... as someone wrote to me on Twitter, then I'd never have written this blog post, after all! And things always have a way of working themselves out for the better :)It was purely awesome to be included in such a list of people, and very rewarding to meet and speak with so many attendees as well as speakers in Portland. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a thought and share your story!!
Jun 08 2011 / 07:06 pm
Adrienne | Experience Life Fully
Dave,
Know that I’m imagining standing, clapping, whistling like crazy, and yelling for more! When I got the end of the post, I was like, “it’s over? I want more!” I would have love to actually listen to you deliver this, and it’s a shame you didn’t get to.
Like you, I’ve always felt a natural call and ability to lead. Throughout my childhood, high school, and college, I would tend to rise to the top of all of my endeavors. Oddly enough, (or maybe not oddly, as I’m sure you know) it was during ROTC, where I was supposedly being how to lead, that I lost some of that natural ability. I was pulled into the game. I started to become the sort of leader i thought I ought to be rather than the leader I was called to be. I made a lot of stupid mistakes, some which I haven’t fully recovered from. It almost made me want to reject the idea of leadership entirely. I thought, if this is what it takes to become a “real” leader, count me out.
It wasn’t until I left training and entered the Air Force that I learned a thing or two about true leadership. While I haven’t held any formal leadership positions (supervisory) during my military career, I’ve had many valuable leadership opportunities. And you know what I’ve finally figured out? True leadership isn’t really about leading others at all. It’s about service. The best leaders, whether on the battle field or the soccer field, in the White House or in a classroom, are those who serve others first. They are the ones who truly believe in what they are doing and those they are serving. They are not there to encourage others to follow them, but to empower others to think for themselves.
Like you said, true leaders lead by example. Just by being who they are, they inspire others to become better. That is exactly what you do and who you are Dave. You are not a leader without followers. You are definitely one who leads through service and example. I was inspired just reading this “non-speech!” That is leadership.
“I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize. The first is gentleness; the second is frugality; the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others. Be gentle and you can be bold; be frugal and you can be liberal; avoid putting yourself before others and you can become a leader among men.“ — Lao Tzu
Jun 07 2011 / 09:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
Adrienne, after reading YOUR thoughts and story, I can say that I'm also "standing, clapping, whistling like crazy, and yelling for more" !! :)Great quote from Lao Tsu, who I consider the de facto "quiet leader" and, if I had to choose, probably the most significant influencer of "Lead Without Followers" for his works and thoughts on leadership that still speak so powerfully to us all here today, thousands of years after his death.
Thanks a million, honestly and sincerely, Adrienne. Can't wait till we connect again in person. Clearly we have a lot of awesome things to dish on and discuss!
Jun 08 2011 / 07:06 pm
Chris Guillebeau
Hey Dave, this is great! Thanks for sharing.
Yes, we loved your topic (it made a shortlist amid much competition) – and I hope you submit something again next year.
Jun 07 2011 / 10:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
Hey Chris, an honor as always to see on my blog. Thanks a million for taking the time to leave a thought, especially amid your well-deserved, post-WDS unwinding!!I've said it a million times, but I'll say it a million more, because it was so awesome and a real honor to make the cut among so many other impressive submitters.
Thank you again for everything, dating all the way back to your encouragement to me on the AONC book tour back in Cambridge. Rock on and rest well... job well done this weekend!
Jun 08 2011 / 07:06 pm
Janet
wow, great article and thanks for sharing your story! i believe your message is that we should just lead by example.. which is what I try to do in my life. so it shouldn’t matter if i don’t have 100 followers (i don’t..). being blog famous or famous in your industry isn’t everything. you just have to be true to yourself!
Jun 07 2011 / 10:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
Janet, I believe that the Truth of your Being -- that is, truly opening up and revealing your true self through self-discovery and self-realization -- is perhaps one the most potent but certainly the most PURE way of attracting others.It's not about commanding them, or dominating them, or forcing them... they are attracted to you because human beings are naturally drawn to that energy, emanated from people who radiate with confidence, strength, openness, love, and kindness. :)
Jun 09 2011 / 12:06 pm
Randy Cantrell
Good job, Dave! I’m disappointed you didn’t get the opportunity to deliver it on stage, but I’m glad you took the time to share it here.
To quote Abraham Lincoln, “I will prepare and some day my chance will come.”
Jun 07 2011 / 10:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
Like good ol' Honest Abe said, that's really all we can do, right Randy?I myself have fallen victim before to "waiting" for the chance to come first, and then believing I would prepare on the fly... as if the chance presenting itself would validate something in me, and thus give me the energy and confidence to "begin". :)
Jun 09 2011 / 12:06 pm
Valuables That No One Can Steal | Ruby Slipper Astrology
[...] The quote states that God is still God, whether he has worshipers or not. The second is a post by Dave Ursillo entitled “How To Lead Without Followers”. Same idea as the [...]
David Rendall
Dave,
This is one of the most well-written presentations that I’ve ever seen. I felt like I was listening to you giving the speech, instead of sitting here reading a blog post. I could feel the energy and passion in your words. You obviously have a gift for communicating powerful ideas. I’m looking forward to joining you on the journey.
Dave
Jun 07 2011 / 11:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
That is truly an awesome compliment, Dave, because I literally just "flowed" this piece as a stream of consciousness, as if imagining myself on stage and presenting. I wasn't sure if my speaking style with lots of alliterations, descriptions, repetitions and so on would come across correctly or read well... but I'm glad you enjoyed it!!Let's chat real soon. Thanks a million for all your encouragement and help and advice in Portland.
Jun 09 2011 / 12:06 pm
Sean Cox
Hey Dave, I love your passion!! Thanks so much for telling your story–I find a lot of inspiration in people’s personal journey. I just want to encourage you to AGGRESSIVELY go-for-it and pursue your vision of leadership. We need young guys like you–you’re the future. Focus your fire and let’s see what you can do–I believe you can do great things!
Jun 07 2011 / 11:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
Wow, thank you sincerely for your enthusiasm and encouragement, Sean. It means a whole hell of a lot.And you know what, based on what I heard from so many people in Portland this past weekend, and based on the incredible response I received from this very "basic" (in my opinion) non-speech that I wrote as a blog post in a matter of a couple short hours, I will take you up on that encouragement: I *am* aggressively going for it as of this week and beginning to write the LEAD WITHOUT FOLLOWERS e-book!!
It will be comprehensive, very detailed and specific, ranging from the nitty-gritty of day-to-day quiet leadership but with the big picture in mind and world-changing implications. I'm gonna give it everything. :) Thanks again, truly.
Jun 09 2011 / 12:06 pm
Sara | ChiefPlayOfficer
Dave, great piece! I admit that I did spend the years/decades trying to figure it out. I’m always amazed and thankful for the youthful beings like yourself that “get it” early in life. The way I see it, the less time you spend not getting it, the more time you have to deliver your genius to the world. I did my MBA at a fancy east coast school and several months ago, I wrote a piece for the alumni quarterly publication (http://qn.som.yale.edu/content/q8-alumni-forum) titled “The CEO in All of Us.” The point I make is that each of us is the ‘boss’ (or leader) of our own life. When we don’t stand up and take responsibility for our path in life, we wind up searching and blaming and keeping our divine gifts trapped within… Not you, because you are exploring living from within and bringing it to others. Thank you. Play on!
Jun 07 2011 / 11:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
It's a great and noble thing to encourage in people, Sara, I agree! The most interesting aspect, however, is that the very best (the most elite, built-to-last companies in the world) are those that *encourage* employees to take personal responsibility and to innovate and engage new ideas in their work environments.When a business leader or work culture attempts to harness power and control people, suddenly all power is lost. When employees are empowered, the organization becomes elite.
The best companies allow employees the freedom to operate on their own, to use their heads and hearts and be trusted, not micromanaged... essentially to be their own unique human beings (instead of cubicle drones) and to truly LEAD as they desire.
Jun 09 2011 / 08:06 am
Jack Bennett | 32000 Days
I’m very impressed and looking forward to connecting with you when we are both back in Boston.
Ass shall be kicked. ;)
Jun 07 2011 / 11:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
For a revolution to kick epic amounts of status-quo ass, we will need many foot soldiers. Let's get to recruiting in the streets of Boston :) See you soon Jack!Jun 12 2011 / 07:06 pm
Day 122- Leaving Portland, Grateful | Enso Photography
[...] Dave Ursillo- How to Lead Without Followers: the World Domination Summit Talk I Never Gave http://bit.ly/muO6L2 [...]
Drew Gerald
This is incredible. I was reading this sideways on my laptop and had to sit up when I read the line “I felt dead inside.”.
That’s what happens when we submit to compliance and submission to the great game and reject our deepest purpose in life and decide to lay down and give in, robbing not only ourselves, but the world of our gifts. I’m feeling an incredible emotion as I write this, as I know that exact feeling of death on the inside when some tells me “it’s bigger than you”, “just get a real job like the rest of us”, or “do something you hate because it pays well”.
This is the age of awakening, and like you said, it’s time to lead. This gives my inspiration as I have incredible messages, and yet have access to few that want to listen on my tiny podium – so your message hits home – thank you.
It’s not about changing the world, but as Gandhi put it, being the change yourself you wish to see in the world. Lead yourself and rest will follow.
Jun 08 2011 / 01:06 am
Dave Ursillo
Gandhi had it right!Wayne Dyer recently reiterated the mantra in the context of the somewhat misunderstood and controversial Law of Attraction, stating, "You don't attract what you want, you attract what you ARE." In other words, be the change you wish to see in the world... be the person you wish to have lead us... be the warm, loving, kind, forgiving, compassionate and strong human being that you wish to encounter every day on the street.
Rock on, Drew!
Jun 09 2011 / 08:06 am
Claire
Love this post! Read it, then went to FB to see that someone had posted this:
“There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.”
Definite theme today!!
Jun 08 2011 / 01:06 am
Dave Ursillo
Yes... what is it that you start to think about, day dream about, write about, read about, talk about with others that suddenly creates an incredible and unforgettable vibrational frequency deep within you?This isn't me being rhetorical, either! :) When I talk about this leadership stuff, I really feel a shaking in my gut. My neurons feel like their firing wildly and I almost begin to feel like my whole body is vibrating.
THAT, I believe, is the sort of frequency that guides us, as your awesome quote suggests! :)
Jun 09 2011 / 09:06 am
Amber-Lee Dibble
Dave Ursillo. I wont forget your name. I cannot begin to tell you how moved I am. You put into beautiful, inspiring words different issues I have begun to feel so intimately. Thank you. Amber-Lee
Jun 08 2011 / 01:06 am
Dave Ursillo
Much gratitude, Amber-Lee. Thank you :)Jun 09 2011 / 12:06 pm
Natalie Sisson
Wow Dave had I known any of this about you when we met at the bar I would have delved deeper.
I love your leadership perspective I believe you have to lead from the front even when leading no one else, lead by example in everything you do.
True leaders act with integrity, passion and compulsion every day. May you always live those values and teach others to do the same.
Now I feel compelled to come visit you in Boston!
Jun 08 2011 / 01:06 am
Dave Ursillo
Sometimes it can feel tough to properly articulate these concepts in so many words, Natalie, because really when you get started on them you need to delve deeply... it's tough to skim over it and summarize a subject like "how to invert the leadership paradigm... why.. and why I'm the one doing it" ;)Having said that, I clearly love this and can talk about it all day and night!
Feel warmly invited to visit Boston at any time! Although I've seen your Suitcase Entrepreneur schedule... seems like you've got quite a full plate :)
Jun 09 2011 / 09:06 am
Sarah Kathleen
Dave – What a wonderful, wonderful post. I am reminded again of why I love your writing so much – I get chills reading your thoughts. Your leadership exudes from your body, and your ability to pinpoint each of the hidden assumptions that we all hold – and how to break through them – is spot on.
The essence of what you write about – being a room with a people joined in ‘unabashed unity’ – a shared foundation of support, “suddenly interwoven with hundreds and hundreds of people” — this is the spirit and the indescribable, intangible element that made me feel, instantly, that I fell into a group of people that “got” me, that were exceptionally supportive, and that would let me do anything – ANYTHING – without judgment. I learned more about myself than I expected; I felt the camaraderie, and I had an absolute blast.
Thanks for your amazing speech. I’m so glad you wrote this. I want to hear you speak soon. :)
Jun 08 2011 / 03:06 am
Dave Ursillo
The plausible downside to any conference or meetup is a "me-oriented" mentality, or pat-ourselves-on-the-back sort of thing... they can sometimes tend to inflate our senses of ego and have a counter-productive effect. Thankfully, this is not what I saw and felt at the World Domination Summit.There was a warm, supportive, "you-first" mentality. Conversations were had, and experiences were discussed and laughter was shared before any, "this is what I do" talk. Money took a far back seat to the value of experience, joy, happiness, sharing, and warm offering to others. It was killer stuff. :) Happy to have spent time with you, Sarah-- let's do it again soon!
Jun 09 2011 / 12:06 pm
Caleb Wojcik
Dave, we didn’t meet at WDS, but by reading this I am an instant fan and I’m looking forward to your leading without followers work.
Hopefully we’ll meet next year and we’ll both be speakers.
Jun 08 2011 / 01:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
Hey Caleb! I'm sorry as well that we didn't get the chance to meet in Portland, but I'm very thankful we have the opportunity to connect further online and speak more about our journeys! All my best!Jun 08 2011 / 07:06 pm
Caleb Wojcik
Thanks David. I look forward to connecting as well.Jun 09 2011 / 09:06 am
Marlee
One word Dave,
Exquisite.
Thank you!
Jun 08 2011 / 02:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
One word back atcha Marlee, mi amiga:Gratitude. :)
Jun 08 2011 / 07:06 pm
Steve Willis
I agree to a huge extent with what you said. I, too, have bristled on occasion at being balked by both the ill- and well-intentioned who would not recognize my leadership skills and abilities. In retrospect, however, in most cases it was not a case of my inherent talents, but with my character-development status at that point in time.
The problem is this: while there are many people who are willing to lead from such altruistic motives, there are many of those whose desire for leadership comes from the innately selfish desire — inherent to mankind as a whole — for control over their own circumstances and ultimately for control of others.
And even those who start out with such altruistic intentions often fall prey to their own human frailties and go astray — every attempt at a utopian society has ended up as a cult of one sort or another and foundered.
The main purpose of authority structures entrusted with the power to define who is qualified to lead was to produce standards of eligibility, conduct, and accountability in those so entrusted.
Unfortunately, like all man-made institutions, they are subject to manipulation by those whose sole desire is power at the expense of others, both by those in authority and by those who are attempting to “climb the ladder” of power within that authority.
I’ve personally found that, whenever God has ascertained that I’m ready for a leadership role, one appears that matches my then-current level of skill and character development. It’s whenever I’ve tried to force the issue that the trouble started — as the trumpet-playing ‘gator in Disney’s The Princess and The Frog said, “It’s didn’t end well.”
Jun 08 2011 / 07:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
A very worthy opinion to share with us here, Steve, thank you and welcome. I would add to your perspective my own personal opinion that the allure of power and being corrupted by it is less a part of "human nature" than it is a product of the "human ego," that is, the false self that becomes so easily attached and addicted to things outside of ourselves.In the case of power and leadership, the ego becomes latched to the status, the esteem, the praise, the followers, the ass-kissing, the perception of power and control...
Every leader will ultimately fall, whether by way of established term limits or based on the simple fact that every human being shall die.
It's on this very basis that we can say the best embodiment of leadership -- what we should all strive for and encourage in others -- is merely a fleeting moment in time where others are empowered to take up the torch, so we can rest at the end of our time knowing we've helped the lot of the species advance towards a better tomorrow.
Jun 09 2011 / 09:06 am
#WDS: Sunday Recap (Day 3) | it starts with …
[...] without sounding somewhat ‘woo-woo crazy,’ as Natalie Sisson describes it. In a brilliant post, Dave Ursillo writes about the “indefinable, indistinguishable, [...]
Jason Moore
Beautiful work Dave, way to flip leadership principles upside down. I’m still feeling the buzz from WDS, glad to have met you…and looking forward to your talk next year:)
Jun 08 2011 / 10:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
It really is about inverting an outdated paradigm that is causing a prevalent and detrimental social mindset: people should feel incredibly empowered to take up the mantle (and starting with the title) of "leader", every day. Great meeting you Jason, keep in touch.Jun 12 2011 / 07:06 pm
I didn’t attend the World Domination Summit, but I should have. « Idealist Cafe Blog
[...] How to Lead Without Followers: the World Domination Summit Talk I Never Gave [...]
Aaron Andrews
You get a standing O for this my man!!
Dave, this is very inspiring. I plan on taking this and applying it daily. I am currently apart of a corporate structure where they make you believe that you have to wait in line to be a leader. My standards and morals do not align with theirs so what am I waiting for? Like you said, you can spend a lifetime trying to “work your way up”. This is no good for me!! I plan on making a change! Looking forward to the book Dave. Thanks again!
Jun 09 2011 / 01:06 am
Dave Ursillo
Looks like we're in the midst of a revolution, Aaron :)Jun 09 2011 / 09:06 am
The Art of Non-Conformity » WDS 2011: “The Heart Attack of Awesome”
[...] video clips over the next few weeks. In the meantime, you can read attendee wrap-ups here, here, here, here, and here (this is a small selection that can lead to many others if you’re [...]
Owen Marcus
Dave,
Good for you… we need more deviants. We have enough accepted leaders. We need more unaccepted leaders – man and women who are first driven to contribute not to lead.
I believe we all gravitated to Chris and his message because he started leading before he had a group to lead. That is my kind of leader.
More often than not I got myself fired from jobs because my leadership went against the standard. So I did the logical thing, I have worked for myself for 35 years. For the last 15 years I have ran men’s groups and trained other men to lead groups. I use to think we knew how to lead, but as you point out there are two types of leadership. The ‘right way’ and the true way; as men we deeply conditioned to do it the right way.
I have found in all man exists their true way. My passion is catalyzing in man this form of leadership through teaching men how to create and lead powerful men’s groups. We are in the process of forming a nonprofit to this end.
Your post is a manifesto to being a true leader, thank you.
Jun 09 2011 / 01:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
I similarly experienced what you describe inside unhealthy working cultures, Owen.One time some coworkers and I split up driving time to several events all over the state on behalf of our boss after I was returning from work from a bad illness that kept me out of the loop for over a week. It went very smoothly and worked out perfectly for everyone. When I informed one of my bosses of this, he told me, "Ask me next time before you delegate" as if I had committed some terrible act. That *really* pissed me the hell off.
I was even told in interviews outside of college that describing myself as a "leader" made me seem to be a loner, outsider, "impossible to work with" and "not a team player." Of course, being a leader means working exceptionally among others... knowing the strengths and weaknesses of each member of the team, and so on.
A true leader, even a quiet leader, is the ultimate team player, not a loner or outcast.
Jun 12 2011 / 07:06 pm
Crystal Silver
I can certainly relate. Many years ago before I stopped applying for jobs altogether, I quickly discovered that being a lockstep follower makes it much easier to get hired, but unbeknownst to me, I was often too forthright about my thoughts, feelings, dreams, goals, and everything else to endear myself to interviewers and employers.I was too naive and inexperienced back then to understand that most of the qualities I was learning to cherish about myself were precisely the ones that prevented me from "fitting in" to places I already suspected, in my heart, I didn't really want to belong anyway.
Looking back, I'm grateful that I ultimately chose an alternative path because I like who I am becoming today so much better than who I was trying to be in the beginning. Hindsight has its merits, I suppose.
But it would have been nice if I could have gotten here without all the existential angst that caused me to question myself so much and wonder if I was the only one who felt like the way things were was worlds away from the way things ought to be.
I remember feeling very alone in my early 20s because I had so much trouble finding comrades who could relate to what I was thinking and feeling. I am incredibly grateful for the environment all of us are building together now, though. It will make things so much easier for independent, entrepreneurial young people who step out into the world after us.
Sep 07 2011 / 05:09 pm
TheUplifter.com · World Domination Summit? Or World Connection Summit?
[...] Ursillo (whom I never had the pleasure to meet), wrote about the speech he never gave at the event: How to Lead Without Followers. This was exactly the sentiment that had struck me in that moment. Each of us there (and many [...]
Christian Hollingsworth
A long, detailed post. So many thoughts to compile – that I’m still processing. Maybe this comment will be a great way for me to do so.
First of all, great work. You’ve accomplished a lot in your life – and it shows in your writing. There are experiences there to back everything up. That’s why it’s a great place to be, here, and learn from.
As for leadership – you had some great ideals there. What I think it most important to remember is that the best leaders are the ones who lead by example. There are so many so-called governmental “leaders” out there whom I don’t look up to in the least, because they aren’t leading by example.
I do understand that people make mistakes. We all do. But when people become leaders many of them are tainted. They often use their power for corruption and become someone – in the end – that I wouldn’t want to be like.
I’m sure, in your past positions, you’ve seen that.
Jun 09 2011 / 04:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
There's a fascinating and difficult dichotomy we need to tackle when we're discussing modern leadership and the problems of leadership, Christian.First, we understand that all human beings are naturally flawed and prone to mix ups, misunderstandings and mistakes. At the same time, in our "Hollywood culture," we tend to inflate the images of these ordinary human beings (our leaders) to a level of celebrity and idolatry... their pictures adorn newspapers and magazines, television shows and cameos in movies.
We know theyre all naturally flawed as humans, but we and the media create a false image of these people as "celebrities," above and beyond us "ordinary people."
What we need to do is distinctly differentiate ordinary flaws, accidents, misunderstandings as products of being naturally flawed humans -- and the epic, unabashed, brazen controversies and scandals that derive from egomania.
One we should appreciate and understand; the other is inexcusable and, though it's certain to happen to people in positions of power, we need to pressure leaders to be honest and open and to put others before themselves.
Jun 12 2011 / 07:06 pm
Diana Antholis
Wow this is so true. So many people are leading…and they may not even realize what you said, that they are leading without followers. They are leading themselves.
Excellent!
Jun 09 2011 / 05:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
They are leading themselves, Diana, and by their quiet, humble and good examples they serve to -- consciously, or even subconsciously -- influence and encourage others to do the same. Goodness is naturally attractive to human beings, and emotions are contagious. The way we lead our lives can genuinely spark inspiration in others to lead their lives similarly :)Jun 12 2011 / 07:06 pm
Edger
There were many people I thought I’d see at Blitz after the after party at WDS. Most of them didn’t end up there. The people that were there included only one that I had met just briefly during the weekend. Maybe it was obvious, or maybe we just happened to be standing next to each other for a minute, but either way, you introduced yourself and I appreciated that you did. We didn’t talk for long, but the thing that stands out is how little you said about yourself, and how much you said about how amazing everyone else there was. Kinda reminds me of someone else who did a lot of that this weekend. Your post may have been about leading without followers, but after seeing how many people have retweeted, linked to and commented on this post, you may just have some found some people to lead…like it or not :)
Jun 09 2011 / 08:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
I believe, Edger, that something like a simple interaction between two people -- like you and I at Blitz last Sunday, which I remember! -- can really last a lifetime and influence pure goodness in our world. Who knows what might come of sharing a positive moment with a stranger or friend. It might not "change the world" every single time... but if a simple interaction can do something like that just once, it's worth it.Very humbled by your comment, Edger. It was great to meet and talk with you last weekend, keep in touch!
Jun 12 2011 / 07:06 pm
Lisa Bourque
Dave, I remember standing in line on Saturday outside PAM and hearing you talk about this very concept. What stands out to me is leading by noble and good example *without permission*. To me, THAT is the only genuine measure of a leader — having integrity and goodness and inspiring those qualities in others.
Because after all, what good is leading unless Good is created, unless something changes in people to make them more kind, more open, more compassionate, more understanding. We need these things (desperately!) and the great news is, they are available NOW.
Rock on Dave!
Lisa
Jun 10 2011 / 08:06 am
Dave Ursillo
It's the most direct method of communicating a message that blows apart the traditional leadership paradigm that's been ingrained in us for so long, Lisa -- no permission needed to do good, change your life, help others, forgive liberally instead of holding grudges, donate to charity, and so on!I adore this line of yours, "what good is leading unless Good is created." Wonderful!
Jun 12 2011 / 07:06 pm
gwyn
Late to the comments here but I must say I love your perspective. I have been evolving my version of this philosophy for about a year now at twice your age. Lead by example has been my motto. But lead is the key. I do not have traditional leadership qualities as one would find in traditional work places but I am most definitely a leader.
WDS really really reinforced my feeling that we can and should create a life and work that is about being genuinely us. Getting paid to be me… I have said this for years as a joke, now it can be a reality. Living that reality is leading by example and I suppose we gather our tribes along the way but I see that as gathering other leaders.
So much to think about and do!
Satnding O for you and looking forward to your speech next year!
Jun 10 2011 / 11:06 am
Dave Ursillo
The truth Gwyn is that focusing on ourselves, our happiness, our individual success is not as selfish as we often assume it to be. In our society we're locked into an "either/or" way of thinking, what cutting-edge business thinkers call "the tyranny of the OR," that we polarize decisions and think too much in terms of mutual exclusivity, not inclusivity.What I've realized is that when we better our individual selves, realize our gifts and potential, and pursue a lifestyle that makes us happy, we RADIATE happiness, positivity and good things that others feel, that physically affects them on a biological level!
When we lead by example, we empower ourselves and also -- whether consciously or subconsciously -- encourage others to do the same, for not only themselves but for all of those around them. :)
Jun 14 2011 / 09:06 am
Jody
Really, really what I want and need to hear at the moment having just stepped away again, from a job that asked me to stray from what I hold true. Again, asking myself if I will ever find the right fit.
I think we all lead, one way or another. It’s whether we lead lifting others up or dragging them down.
Jun 10 2011 / 02:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
Maybe a simple shift in mindset, an instance of reframing, will help you Jody. Instead of trying to "find" the right fit for you, escape the idea that the right fit is something you can arrive at.It's like happiness. We all say we're trying to find or "pursue" happiness when there is no real happiness destination... the journey is the reward, the path is the destination. So instead of finding what can't be found, strive to realize, nurture, and embody. :)
Jun 12 2011 / 08:06 pm
Brandon
Dave, you are a beautiful soul and I appreciate how openly you have shared your insights with all of us. I greatly admire your courage and determination to make a difference in the world through service to others. Who knows – maybe this post will have a bigger impact than it would have if you had given the talk live. :)
Many blessings, my friend!
Jun 10 2011 / 04:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
Things work out in a way greater than we could ever rationalize or truly comprehend, Brandon, and I agree I think this blog post is the culmination of many good things unfolding -- and ultimately revealing themselves to me in a very cool way!Jun 12 2011 / 08:06 pm
Meeting the com-peer-tition | Mentalectrician
[...] fact, the awesome attendees and organisers of the WDS probably aren’t my audience. They’re leaders, not followers. They are contributors, not recievers. Of course we can be both, and a lot of us [...]
Paul Joseph
Dave,
I really don’t know what to say other then this is FANTASTIC. Coming here always provides a breath of fresh air. There ARE good people in the world, and to think someone like you, all of 25 years young, has developed this perspective gives me hope. I appreciate your honesty and willingness to share yourself with your readers. It allows me to relate to your words on a deeper level. I always taught my classes that everything we do counts. Whether we model character for 3 or 30 or 30,000 people, our actions and words make a difference in this world. Unfortunately, not many who have the followers choose to set a good example. I realize that’s a generalization, but it also has a bit too much accuracy for my writing. Reality shows are portraying a society I don’t want any part of.
You probably already know this, but you have a true fan in Paul Joseph. I spent many days teaching others. It’s so nice to have someone teaching me again.
Best always,
Paul
Jun 12 2011 / 10:06 pm
Dave Ursillo
I'm thankful to learn so much from you and others who take the time to share their thoughts, unique experiences and insight here on the blog. Teaching is a two-way street-- there's always so much to learn, as I'm sure you know Paul!!Jun 14 2011 / 10:06 am
J.D. Meier
I know you never gave it, but I like it anyway.
> Lead Without Followers.
I think it’s fine — but I work from a rich fabric of mental models and tapestries for the concept of leadership.
Right off the bat, I break leadership down into thought leadership and people leadership. Some people are good at one or the other, and some are good at both. I think the most important thing though is to recognize where your strength comes from and what you enjoy the most.
I think leadership, on the people side, has multiple onions or spheres of influence … self-leadership, team leadership, organizational leadership, etc. Here again, I think it’s important to know how big you want your tribe to be, and I know many very effective thought leaders that are happiest as one-man bands.
At the end of the day, a good leader needs to also know when to be a good follower. And I’m a fan of self-directed teams and federated models based on values and principles (but that’s from leading distributed Agile teams, and from reading too much of The Spider and the Starfish.)
Jun 13 2011 / 03:06 am
Dave Ursillo
There are indeed so many layers and angles and perspectives on leadership-- no "one" philosophy or description could ever truly encapsulate how deep and complex the subject of "leadership" is.This philosophy, J.D., is fairly specific to personal leadership and reclaiming a purer, empowered sense of leadership that enables anyone to call themselves leaders in their own lives. But it's also the means to remain uncorrupted by power, followers, job title and social status... to lead without followers reminds conventional leader to remain humble and quiet, to encourage people to become their own leaders and take responsibility for decisions and actions.
Thank you as always for your input and deep insight, J.D.!
Jun 14 2011 / 09:06 am
Favorite Quotes from the World Domination Summit | Stratejoy | Conquer Your Quarterlife Crisis through Fresh Strategies for Real Joy
[...] Ursillo’s Lead without Followers Post. HERE. Read [...]
What If Real Life Was More Like the World Domination Summit? + #WDS Wrap-Ups | Pocket Changed
[...] Peck 72 Hacks & Beliefs from WDS by Scott Dinsmore WDS – My Pilgrimmage by Farnoosh Brock The WDS Talk I Never Gave by Dave Ursillo Photo Tour by Chris Guillebeau Recap by Genuine Chris Johnson What I Learned from WDS by Holli with [...]
I Think I Started a Revolution by Accident (Or, Why I’m Finally Writing My Leadership Book) | DaveUrsillo.com
[...] following week I traveled to Portland, Oregon for the first time for the World Domination Summit, survived jumping out of a perfectly good airplane with over 40 other World-Domineers, connected [...]
Reading round-up: June – Digitalist
[...] Leadership Davenport Ursillo – How to Lead Without Followers [...]
Why we buy experiences: A Portlander’s perspective | Undefinable You
[...] yes. But not as magical as a TED conference. Or WDS. Or [...]
Why we buy experiences: A Portlander’s perspective |
[...] but not as magical as a TED conference. Or WDS. Or [...]
Dave Ursillo launching book AND e-course – Launch Watch
[...] his free eBook ‘How To Lead Without Followers‘ to get a vibe of his [...]
6 Things I Learned at WDS: Stuff Everyone Should Know | All of Us Revolution
[...] Life is about starting your own revolution and leading even when you don’t yet have followers. [...]
Tia Sparkles Singh
Which is why my twitter bio reads ‘self leadership’ vs ‘thought leadership’ that used to reign there. I’m not here to lead anyone’s thoughts a certain way, I’m here to lead mine and by doing so, inspire whosoever needs to be inspired to DO IT THEIR WAY.
Got goosebumps at ‘what is leadership? and what does it really mean for someone to be a leader? One’s ability to lea life by good example, by your own choosing and in your own unique ways….. who says we need others to give us permission to do that?’
By giving ourselves permission, we give others permission. Well, not GIVE, but show people how leadership really starts with self. Way to redefine leadership, ay.
You’re onto something, Dave!
Jul 13 2011 / 01:07 pm
Encouragement From This Day Forward
[...] tell me you have not given up asking that question. Please tell me you haven’t given in to complacency and living the [...]
Wendy
Dear Dave,
You remind of “Hope for the Flowers”, by Trina Paulus.
In my generation, crawling from beneath the heap is really out of norm. If you read on in this book, you’ll see, it’s quite unusual and even still harshly descriminated upon, to be the one who strives, let alone earns wings to fly and thrives!
I read this when my journey began. It’s for all ages so then to my children and several other’s through foster care and ECE. to instill these qualities best I could.
Another great example being, “The Big Orange Splot,” by Daniel Pinkwater.
I well up with mixed bless-ed tears of joy; with immense hope for “the today” you show me… wings are no longer the painstakingly, gruelling, minority struggling but the majority.
I have 2 gorgeous little grand-children. You show me the miracles unfolding and realized.
Again,
THANK YOU!
Aug 26 2011 / 10:08 pm
Living on Purpose and Why Jacob Sokol Wants You to Leave Here and Never Return | DaveUrsillo.com
[...] writing ventures. We even jumped out of the same plane in Portland, Oregon when we were there for the World Domination Summit in [...]
A Small Book Tour with a Big Cause: 10 Scholarships for School Girls in Sierra Leon | DaveUrsillo.com
[...] my friend Chantelle Baxter — who I met when we went skydiving together in Portland, Oregon at the World Domination Summit last June — a co-founder of the Australia-based One Girl nonprofit organization that provides [...]
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