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  • Inner Peace: the Waves and the Tides

    By Dave Ursillo on Jun 21, 2010
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    Inner Peace: the Waves and the Tides

    “A compassionate state of mind brings inner peace, and therefore a healthier body.” ~Tenzin Gyatso

    To many men and women, the concept of “inner peace” sounds so foreign and elusive that it appears more like science fiction than a “real” state of being.

    Have you ever felt a moment when all your thoughts, feelings, and emotions seem to simultaneously align, and you feel a blissful state of total clarity?

    It’s a unique sensation. During these moments, perhaps after a long day of fulfilling work, socialization or simply sharing love with friends and family, when you shut your eyes there is beautiful quiet. At that moment, as you lay still both in your mind and in your body, the workings of your inner Self feel as balanced and untouched as a sheet of sand upon beach shore. This feeling, like that image of a beach, is a pure and beautiful state of perfection.

    The Inner Peace We Aspire to Achieve

    Just at the water’s edge, the sand is calmly washed upon and groomed by gentle waves. Blissfully untouched. It is inner peace, mental clarity, total balance. If only for that moment, that sandy shore, capable of taking so many other forms, rocky and jagged, unkempt and chaotic, remains perfectly still. Perfectly smooth. If only for that moment, there is a great sense of simplicity and peace. Like that beach, total “inner peace” as a state of mind is everyone’s ultimate goal. But, how to get there from here? How to achieve an inner balance like the perfection of a fresh, cool sheet of sand at the foot of the shoreline?

    Sand is the product of crushed rock — rock that has been battered and beaten upon for centuries by the elements: crashing waves, thrashing oceans, storms, and chaos. For each of us to be battered in life by challenges, problems, trials and tribulations is no different than the rocks that have been battered for ages and ages before being crushed into fine, soft sand.

    When the Waves Come…

    To fear the changing tides of life would be like the sand fearing the waves. Without the waves, the sand would never be there where it lays. Without turbulent trials, challenges and hardships, we would remain but rocks: stale and stagnant objects. We would remain untried, untested duds of the mind, tragically capable of so much more. When we are unwilling to face life’s challenges, we succumb to the fear of uncertainty that envelops crashing waves.

    One’s fear of uncertainty is another’s opportunity. While so few would invite tides of turbulent change, once the waves are crashing upon the shores, let our fear be admonished and let us push onward. For when the end goal is such an unfamiliar and elusive state of mind as inner peace, crashing waves of turbulence and challenge will help us move closer to total inner peace: no different than the perfect and untouched shore of a perfect beach.

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    Writer, Author of Lead Without Followers + Alternative Leadership Speaker (Download my digital speaker's kit!) Tao, Yoga + Buddhism enthusiast. Also, a pretend rockstar + aspiring Jedi.

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    Melonie Harris

    Thank you for taking the time to post your thoughts on how we can better handle our thoughts. This post in particular is very useful for me at this time. I am going through a break-up that I initiated, so want. The thing is that we work together, and there is a third party involved that we also work with. My thoughts and emotions are running me. I want to understand them. I have read Eckert Tolle, and various authors on Buddhism, and positive psychology. I meditate and do yoga. I am all over the board, and can't seem to find one practice to really follow. I want to be more disciplined. I want to make time to reflect and gain understanding of myself. What is your personal approach?

    Thank you for your time.

    Mel

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    Dave Ursillo

    Welcome Melonie, and thank for taking a moment to open up and share your story.

    My personal approach is not very black-and-white, but is 100% earnest and I believe it will greatly help you.

    *One: Remember that time helps heal all wounds.

    In time, your wounds will be healed, it's just a matter of helping accelerate the process. The fact that you work together is deeply difficult, of course, because you are reminded of so much and on such a perpetual basis while at work.

    *Two: As Eckhart Tolle recommends, you must strive to quiet your mind and calm your thoughts.

    In breakups, our thoughts race incessantly and against our will. This is the Ego doing it's work. So long as you are cognizant of your mind behaving in these ways, and you observe it, make the choice to quiet your mind and focus on an aspect of gratitude and thankfulness.

    *Three: Gratitude.

    Regularly reflect upon your gratitude and thankfulness, you can go as small and as big as you desire, from comfortable shoes and a wardrobe of clothing, to clean water and fresh air, to being employed at all, to having family members and friends,

    *Four: Give to Others.

    Giving to others who need our help, whether volunteering, donating items to charity, reading to elementary students at schools, or being a listening ear to friends in family is incredibly powerful for healing our own wounds. When we take the focus and attention OFF of our own suffering, we nurture compassion within ourselves, and our personal troubles seem far less daunting.

    *Five: Share your Suffering

    Talk to your friends and family members about how you are feeling. Really open up and share yourself. You'd be surprised how just about everyone around you has endured a similar situation, either in terms of working with someone you were once involved with or dealing with difficult breakups. As human beings, we ALL share suffering. Each of us has felt sadness and depression and pain. When we open up and discuss our personal demons and sadnesses with one another, we suddenly realize how similar we are -- and our pain suddenly feels less burdening.

    Email me at any time Mel, dave (at) daveursillo (dot) com

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    1. 33 Mantras of Giving (for Manifesting a Legacy of Love) | DaveUrsillo.com says:
      March 3, 2011 at 7:10 pm

      [...] Enemies who challenge me, hate me, and hurt me, give me the means to evolve. Rock could not turn to fine, beautiful sand without the pummel of violent waves. 25) I give myself opportunities to grow by giving myself [...]

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