lessons from a 3-year-old in a pink tutu about moving at your own pace
- By: Dave Ursillo
- Share: 15 Comments
-
“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.” ~Henry David Thoreau
A few weeks ago, I watched with curiosity as one of my youngest cousins, who just turned 3, seemed to suddenly become completely terrified of going into the pool that my family was visiting for the day.
She hung from her father’s neck with white knuckles, alarmed and flinching at every little splash of water that reached her brow.
She was panicked.
So questions began popping up like, “…is she afraid of water? Has she had a bad experience in a pool before? Does she not like to get her face wet? Maybe she thinks she won’t be able to swim?” And so on, and so on.
This is the start of any typical psychological diagnosis that we wager when we’re on the outside, looking in — on someone that’s not ourselves. We ponder, we gossip, we question. We formulate scenarios and hypothesize motivations. We try to make sense of what they are doing… so that we can be “OK” with it.
All the while, the kid just ignored it all.
Forty minutes later, most of the family had gathered on the steps of the pool — some sitting on its edge and others just slightly submerged in shallow waters by its steps.
Then, all of a sudden, baby Kendal, in her pink tutu bathing suit, stood up from the edge of the pool where she was sitting, held onto the stainless steel railing with her tiny hand, and took a step down into the pool. Knee deep.
Less than 30 seconds after that, she took another step down.
Over her waist, now. Then, because that metal railing was coming to an end, she asked for my hand… and took another step down into the pool.
She was in.
All by herself. Smiling. Laughing. Swimming around. No fear of the water. Not afraid to get her face wet. Not because she thought she couldn’t swim.
Kendal just needed to move at her own pace — by her own decision, when she felt ready, comfortable, and ambitious enough to step into deeper waters than she had ever been familiar with in her few years of life.
Ain’t it the same for you and me?
Sure, there’ll be hesitation, worries and fears. But that’s nothing to be embarrassed about. That’s a part of moving at your own pace, and no one else’s.
And no matter what they say, when the time is right, you step, and step, and step — and you’re in.
Flickr photo credit: jangkwee
15 COMMENTS... READ 'EM BELOW AND SHARE A THOUGHT
ENJOY THIS? SHARE IT!
Frank Dickinson
all I know to say to this Dave is;
so true – so very true
thanks for the reminder.
Aug 15 2011 / 10:08 am
Dave Ursillo
I think we tend to use social pressure as excuses in our daily lives, Frank. I know I have in the past. The logic goes, "If everyone thinks it, then it must hold some weight, right?"
A story like this helps us to remember that maybe we ought to march to the beat of our own drummer, as Thoreau writes. Maybe the drummer knows something better than we do, ourselves! :)
Aug 16 2011 / 01:08 pm
Chris Stott
Nice article, thanks Dave.
The wisdom of children.
Although a different analogy to the one you use, it reminds me of a personal story about how children deal with the world differently to us adults.
When visiting Toronto, we went to the top of the CN tower. It was in the 90s and just after they had installed a glass floor that you could walk across. I will never forget the adults around the edge of the glass, too scared to walk straight on to it, testing with the tip of their toe the edge of the glass.
While this was going on, a little girl probably about 2 years old simply walked out in to the middle of the glass floor, crouched down,
pointed downwards laughing and looked up at her mother.
It’s certainly worth not over thinking things some times!
Aug 15 2011 / 12:08 pm
Dave Ursillo
Great story, Scott! So much to learn from kids. Sometimes, it seems, we're too concerned with being the teachers of children when really they have so much to teach us from their simple being.
Aug 16 2011 / 01:08 pm
Gayle Ellison-Davis
tears. soft ones … of acknowledgement and depth of feeling/understanding.
damn … am i not that littleone in that pick tutu?
yep. i am. :)
how blessed and wise you are for one so ‘young’ ;) [this from a 51 :] although, i somehow think you are not so young after all … welcome to the planet dear one :)
<3 gayle
Aug 15 2011 / 12:08 pm
Dave Ursillo
A timeless reminder, aint it, Gayle? :) Thanks for taking the time to share a thought with us. And, march on! :)
Aug 16 2011 / 01:08 pm
jennifer elizabeth
thanks for this poetic reminder Dave. the programming to compare ourselves with others – what they have, how they do it and where they’re at – is ceaseless but finding our own unique rhythm is what life is about and we MUST remember that!
Aug 15 2011 / 11:08 pm
Dave Ursillo
It really is ceaseless, Jennifer, as you so perfectly describe. You know, there are times and places for conformity: social mores and shared values help create the good and basic atmospheres we're familiar with every day.
But on another level, outright conformity and going with the flow of everyone else's rhythm robs some part of the uniqueness of every person, and detracts from what we each have to offer this world and its peoples :)
Aug 16 2011 / 01:08 pm
Ryan Bradshaw
Bravo Dave! Bravo!
Aug 16 2011 / 11:08 am
Dave Ursillo
Thank you Ryan, but real thanks is owed to my little cousin! I wonder if she knows the life lesson she taught and helped to remind us all of ;)
Talk about an example of "leading without followers" -- do what you will because you feel that it is right, and you never know who is watching, paying attention, or following that lead. Now this small story of hers is making its way around the world!
Aug 16 2011 / 01:08 pm
Nailah
What an important lesson from a tiny little teacher. This is something I have slowly been learning for myself. Instead of beating myself up because I’m not going “fast enough” – whatever that means – learning to establish my own pace and chug along at it. Thanks for the reminder!
Aug 16 2011 / 05:08 pm
Dave Ursillo
Remember to look to nature for examples of going at your own pace, too, Nailah. Certain flowers bloom only when they are ready, at certain times of the season. Some bloom early and last a short time, some take longer and last long, and so on :)
Aug 17 2011 / 09:08 pm
but who inspires the inspirers? recent wisdom from 12 friends around the world | DaveUrsillo.com
[...] use ‘em all the time, whether to start a blog post or to help articulate a point in conversation (trying to sound sophisticated and all [...]
Wendy
Three year old’s sure do have the third eye wide open!
And I say, “Wisdom is not so much defined by age but by what we choose to do with our experience.”
Ebb and Flow~Listen to the rhythm of your own heart.
Thank you for the reminder… “In the eyes of a child,”
Moody Blues.
Aug 22 2011 / 12:08 am
How Speed Influences Your Digital Creation — Create & Conquer
[...] Let’s just pause for a minute. [...]
SHARE A THOUGHT: