My 2-Year “I Quit” Anniversary and Why, Eventually, You’ll Leave Me
- By: Dave Ursillo
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Sooner or later, you’ll leave me behind.
You will stop reading my writing. You’ll unsubscribe from my blog. You won’t be watching out for what I have to say; you’ll stop leaving comments and “Liking” my posts — you will even forget my name and my face.
Eventually, you’ll leave me. It will happen some day… maybe soon.
No, this isn’t a self-pitying ballad of an abandoned soul; it’s no testament to struggling artists, or a desperate attempt at reverse-psychology to trick you into showering me with reassurances and It’ll be OK’s :)
Eventually, you’ll leave me. Because that is my goal.
Some day, maybe soon, you won’t need to catch a daily message on our Facebook page. You won’t have to await a boost of inspiring thought. Some day, hopefully soon, you won’t require a “push” to pursue your grandest dreams — those quietly lodged deeply within your soul, longing for your sincerest attention and desperate to be fulfilled.
I want you to leave me, because it means you’ve decided to stand and take up the torch, yourself.
Eventually, you will become your own beacon of light and inspiration. And you won’t need me anymore.
You see, I’m not here to get you hooked. I don’t try to sell you on your “needing” me, my words, my services, or any angle. Why not?
Because you really don’t need me, or anyone else: your existence, your life, your wishes and your dreams need no validation, qualification or justification by anyone else other than you. You know in your heart what you should do in your life — and, truly, the incredible amount that you can achieve. Don’t ever let anyone in this world try to convince you that you “need” them, their approval, or their validation.
You don’t. And you not needing me, my blog or my writing is indeed my intent. My sole aim. My truest mission.
You, in as little as simply Being can and will shimmer with positive light and determination to do good. And each step you take upon a broken sidewalk will shake the world with vibrant, rippling waves of life-changing energy and resonate in every soul you pass; each smile to a stranger a brilliant spark of earnest chance and focused hope for our world.
I don’t want to stay here forever. Not because I don’t love and appreciate you (I do) or because you’ll ever feel unwelcome to return… but because you have your own path to tread.
My writing will never chain you down — or the five-thousand more who visit each month — or anchor you to wharf, far away from from the brewing storms across the horizon… I write to inspire you to sail away. Far away. On your own. With your own crew on board. With other ships in tow. To whatever ends you wish to pursue, wherever the winds of life will push you.
Some day, hopefully soon, you will leave me behind.
Because if not, then I’m not doing my job.
And I’ll have to fight even harder, more determined than ever to achieve that goal. Remember, to live “from within” means to harness your innate strengths and gifts — those that already reside within you. It’s about recognizing that you need nothing outside of yourself to pursue bold and daring goals or to reap greatness in every moment.
Living “from within” means to realize how much good you can do in this world simply by choosing to — and sticking to it, and keeping at it.
You can and will, in due time, become your own self-sustained powerhouse of genuine good, of compassionate giving and indiscriminate love — a peaceful soldier for truth and harmony. Of this much, I am certain. And no matter what comes of me, you and yours will be just fine.
My 2-Year “I Quit” Anniversary
Today marks the two-year anniversary of when I quit “that job” I’ve told you about many times before: working alongside a rising state politician.
Know what the bummer is?
I didn’t even have that dramatic, exclamatory “I quit!” moment. It was more like a hyper-condensed, defensive explanation. Like a, “these-are-all-of-my-reasons-why-I-think-I-need-a-change-and-don’t-think-we-should-keep-doing-this,” kind of moment.
Sometimes I feel like I talk about quitting that job too much. After all, I try to encourage you to leave the past behind; be liberated by the present; take advantage of opportunities; and to sow the best future for yourself, your loved ones and the world at large, right now.
But really, quitting was not so much about the job as it was the only way to pacify the war being waged within: a conflict of me against myself.
And in that moment of truth — a monumental, no-going-back decision — I decided to abandon continuing a lifestyle that I knew I would forever detest: an excuse-laden existence where my dreams took a back seat for wrong reason after wrong reason, leaving me completely misaligned from my purpose.
Two years later, I understand better than ever why I had to take that leap of faith. And I hope, deep down, that expressing my story to you (over and over!) might help you take a similar leap, no matter what it is, or how old you are, or what you dream you can achieve.
Thank You!
Today, I want to take a moment to express how deeply I appreciate you.
Thank you for stopping by, for reading, for ever leaving me a note, chatting with me, dishin’ together on Skype or sharing stories by email. It has been beyond a humble honor and joyous pleasure to meet you, to hear about your journey and to share a moment in life together with you.
I wake up excited each day to tackle new ideas and projects, challenge myself to inspire you in new ways, and to make personal connections with men and women across the globe. And, I’m very excited for what the future holds. But in the end, my goal is to only help you along your way, so that you may forge your own path and thrive in whatever you must do in life.
Eventually, you’ll leave me. And that’s exactly why I’m here.
“A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, and they say: we did it ourselves.” ~Lao Tzu
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Sean Coc
Hi Dave. I like your perspective of people growing so they don’t need you, if I am paraphrasing you correctly. I appreciate you being true to yourself and living out of your deep authenticity, getting off one path that wasnt “you”, and getting on the one that allowed you to fully express who you are. I’m always inspired by stories like yours. Its my fuel. Thank you.
May 19 2011 / 09:05 am
Dave Ursillo
Hey Sean. I think what I was trying to articulate here is the true essence of leadership.
A favorite quote of mine is, "Leaders don't create followers--they create more leaders." I think most conventional and unconventional leaders understand this, but when they get into positions of having followers (or facebook fans, blog subscribers, so on), they get attached to what they consider to be validating measures of their success (or leadership). The same idea carries over in any aspect of life!
Happy and humbled to help fuel your fire.
May 19 2011 / 09:05 pm
Tricia Hurtubise
Hey Dave. I really like your post. It seems to me we are trained by marketing principles to thinking of our subscribers as a measure; they’re a platform that we offer up for our book deal, the bigger our list the more chance we have of selling our stuff, our conversion rate when we guest blog, the success of our traffic generating strategies, etc. I think it is hard, for me anyway, to keep it all in perspective; these are people just like you and me who you service first and foremost and not because you want to keep them coming back or have them stay with you (because god forbid you’d lose a subscriber… what does that say about you???) but because servicing them in what they need is what you do. When they no longer need it, you are happy to see them move on. Yes. It speaks to being conscious of not becoming dependent on your subscribers for your self-worth. I like it.
Well that’s how I took your post. Thanks for the wisdom and the brilliance of Lao-TZU :)
May 19 2011 / 11:05 am
Dave Ursillo
Right on, Tricia. I can hardly fathom the array of personalities, social circles, lifestyles, jobs, loves, problems and more of each "visitor" to major websites and blogs that have tens of thousands of subscribers -- I have a hard enough time imaging the vast, limitless array of my own blog with ~5,000 visitors per month (when last I checked).
Like you mention, each of these "statistics" is a real human being, looking for what help or inspiration or knowledge they can to take along with them down their own path in life. It would be nice to think of each as a lifelong partner in "my own" journey, but how selfish to imagine that my story and mission should trump the importance of their own!
And, to me, this is exactly why we must strive to live by example, to give what we can to who we can (when we are privileged enough to cross paths with them in life), and wish to see them sail on.
Thanks for leaving your kind thoughts!
May 19 2011 / 09:05 pm
Jeanie
I think it’s true that we won’t need you as inspirator, instigator, dream pusher forever. :)
I always welcome new friends–a symbiosis of sorts, rather than the one way help flow that so many coaches, therapists, artists get stuck in.
I feel like quoting country music here: “Do you like me? Check yes or no.”
Looking forward to meeting you at the World Domination Summit.
May 19 2011 / 03:05 pm
Dave Ursillo
Hey Jeanie!
Well, it's certainly true, at least logically! Figuratively is more how I meant it here of course, that we each shouldn't strive to "keep" visitors/readers/followers because it would ultimately mean we're failing to truly encourage others to stand up in their own lives for what they must :)
See you in Portland!
May 19 2011 / 10:05 pm
Mark Hobbs
“After all, I try to encourage you to leave the past behind; be liberated by the present; take advantage of opportunities; and to sow the best future for yourself, your loved ones and the world at large, right now.”
I love you for this Dave. You have been a light that reminds me of these truths. Happy Anniversary! It will be 9 years ago September that I had the same sort of moment, where I finally said “f*** this. I’m better than that.” And went back to school. And, as you know what I do…I couldn’t have made a better decision. To follow my dreams. To say “NO” to all those who said it was too late or I wasn’t good enough, and I should just stay where I was was. Well that wasn’t gonna do. I’ve never been happier in my life than right now. Doing what I do, because I aimed for better.
And I may “leave” you one day. But while I have been here (and will continue to be at least for a while) you have always made it a point to remind me why we are here. What’s important in life and how to differentiate between what we “think” is important and what actually is.
And as I may leave you will forever be imprinted on my soul.
May 19 2011 / 11:05 pm
Dave Ursillo
All I can say is that I'm very humbled, Mark, thank you.
May 20 2011 / 02:05 pm
Clare
This reminds me of best practice in the non-profit world. Good Non-Profits are working to put themselves out of business, to increase the capacity of the people they serve, to look for an exit strategy and an opportunity to move on to the next big issue.
Planned obsoletion is a great way to keep the focus on the needs of the people you serve and not your need for a paycheck or the fulfillment of work.
May 20 2011 / 10:05 am
Dave Ursillo
Hey Clare! It sounds precisely like the practice you mention in the world of non-profit organizations. I wouldn't really recommend someone discussing one's own life as "planned obsoletion," as it sounds kinda morbid :D But the concept is right on-- you can still achieve, strive, and do good without deceiving yourself into believing you are the end all, be all.
May 20 2011 / 04:05 pm
Link Love 5/13 – 5/20/11 | Cordelia Calls It Quits
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Cordelia
It’s true; no one *needs* anyone else to make their own dreams come true. And you’re totally on the money that the ultimate goal of any motivational writer is to get people off their tales and doing things on their own.
That said, it helps to know you’re not alone, to hear the experiences of someone else who’s already “done it,” to be reminded of your goals and abilities and given occasional kicks in the pants. You have provided all these things and more with your blog, and I know many people have been helped along (or started) on their journeys because of your words.
Awesome post. This is definitely one of the things you don’t see other bloggers writing, and I totally admire you for it.
May 20 2011 / 03:05 pm
Dave Ursillo
Thank you Cordelia. It's also important to state the following: by no means does the statement "you don't need anyone" mean anyone is "an island," as the saying goes.
It's not a radical individualist philosophy. After all, we're all working on behalf of one another, and for the betterment of the human species and planet. And you're doomed to begin with if you think you can ever achieve something valuable without the help, networking, advice, friendship (and even criticism or challenges) of others.
But still, no one is going to give you permission but yourself. And you ought never wait, or ask for permission from someone to pursue whatever goal or dream you feel in your heart -- because it knows better than anyone else.
D
May 20 2011 / 04:05 pm
Faaz
Hey Dave,
I stumbled onto your blog from one of your comments on another site. I just wanted to say that instead of thinking of the day you quit your job, how about thinking of it as the day you started something great.
I am enjoying your site so far, and I will definitely come back again.
May 23 2011 / 11:05 am
Dave Ursillo
Hi Faaz! Firstly, welcome aboard and feel warmly invited to come back -- I hope I give you reason to return (for now, until you "leave me" of course!) :)
That is a completely awesome way to put it. Less of "the day I quit" and more of "the day I started." I love it. Thanks again!!
May 23 2011 / 04:05 pm
Zachary
Always inspiring Dave! And I’m still here, though I dont know how long, your writings continue to inspire and provoke though in me. Thanks!
May 23 2011 / 12:05 pm
Dave Ursillo
Thank you Zachary :) I hope I did an alright job properly explaining why "eventually, you'll leave me" without sounding ungrateful for the support and friendship of readers like you. Hope to inspire and provoke some thought in you for the time being, until you take flight on your own!
All my best!
May 23 2011 / 04:05 pm
Christian Hollingsworth
Just found your blog. Subscribed. Great stuff over here.
I’ve never thought of blogging in that way. You make a great point. You want people to take up the torch – and start producing content of their own. To convert from a consumer to creator. That, as you say, is when your job is truly finished.
It reminds me of school. Your teachers want you to move on, to grow, and succeed – because that’s what they’re teaching you to do in the first place. That’s what they’ve given their lives for. For you to move on.
May 23 2011 / 12:05 pm
Dave Ursillo
Hey Christian!! Welcome aboard, I'm really happy to have you here (for now!) but especially happy to connect and speak with you.
You're exactly right. My friend Amy recently explained that that's exactly how the best teachers go about their business. They want to instruct for the time being, but ultimately inspire the students to become teachers themselves.
Thank you for taking the time to leave a thought with us all. And feel warmly invited to email me at any time, dave(at)daveursillo(dot)com!
May 23 2011 / 04:05 pm
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