you’ll screw up friendships. a long-term, loving relationship will suddenly crumble because of a simple misunderstanding.

trust takes a lifetime to build, but seconds to lose.

but you’re not alone. i screw up too. a lot. often.

and so will your friend, your partner, a co-worker, or the stranger on the street that you encounter for a mere moment but who tattoos upon your soul an indelible memory of a terrible, selfish and cruel human being.

mistakes are inevitable — but they’re just fine:

what matters is how you make them.

making mistakes for the wrong reasons or causes — when your actions, words, or decisions are derived from a place of ego, ignorance, anger, jealousy, hatred, greed or some ugly source within that makes you feel like “I’m not myself” — will cripple your heart and spur long, painful bouts of attempting to rectify the wrongdoing.

you’ll feel a prisoner to the past. chained by haunting memories. crushed with regret.

you’ll feel burdened from re-living, time and time again, the evil twin of yourself that hurt the ones you loved and screwed up in a seemingly irrevocable way.

but mistakes from naivete, inexperience or simple oversight are forgivable. passable. you need to make ‘em to make fewer down the line.

• you will tell a white lie to try to protect someone you care for
• you will make grammatical errors and other mistakes in your book
• a simple stroke of the paintbrush sticks out like an ugly, sore thumb, even though few others feel the same way

but when you make a mistake from a place of goodness — not a place of “I’m right, you’re wrong,” but originating from a place of love and caring, good will and good intentions, mistakes are hardly life-long impasses.

there is little burden, only fleeting regret.

few causes for tears and heartbreak, only a frown and a “sorry.”

a lesson learned. new growth. needed experience.

mistakes are inevitable. but when you live, speak and act from a place within your heart, your soul, your purest source… there is never very much to regret, in spite of the mistakes you make.

make your mistakes from living with dedication to compassion. love. giving. selflessness. hope. inspiration. sharing. caring.

to live from within is to rely upon the truth of your Being as source for your words, movements and decisions — dawning from fertile grounds of love, understanding, and a want of simple happiness.

deny the anger. the ego. your “rightness” and their “wrongness.”

breathe. be.

to lead without followers is to stand for what your heart tells you is right — not because the world agrees, not because “I’m right and they’re all wrong,” but because your heart strings feel beckoned by angels to do the bidding of those who cannot.

strive to flourish in your life as the most *humane* human being, who simply radiates goodness . . . without a whisper.

live your life. make your mistakes.

make them for the right reasons, and there will be little to ever regret.

the question for you becomes… what are YOUR “right” reasons?

Flickr photo credit: elycefeliz

Only love endures.

We define leadership based upon externalities: all of the things we are without, don’t have, and think we need to make us happy, fulfilled and “successful”.

True leadership is to embody that which endures on its own. It’s felt, not forced. It multiplies effortlessly. It lasts forever.

Popularity wanes. Followers leave. Status is a deception.

Only love endures.

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Flickr photo credit: morgan cain

It was about 8:40 AM which, for me lately, feels about as late as when you’d wake up at 3:00 PM during your freshman year of college.

I rolled out of bed and, also uncharacteristically, turned on the TV.

…Ding…

The bell was struck.

It’s chime marked ten years to the minute of when the first airplane struck the North Tower of the World Trade Center — and so, the 10th anniversary commemorations of the September 11th attacks had begun.

That Dark Day; a Calling to Leadership

I woke up this morning knowing that it was 9/11/11. I woke up ten years ago only knowing it was a Tuesday, an ordinary school day during my sophomore year. I was 15.

Tens years ago, the bell to which I awoke was much different; it was a chime in my heart — amid the darkness, pain and chaos of that day — knowing that I had to do something to make a difference in this world.

Ten years later, my alternative leadership book Lead Without Followers awaits to be published by the end of this month.

But this piece today has not to do with me or my book, but our shared humanity.

How to Conquer Inhumanity with Humanity

Lead Without Followers is a lot less about leadership than it is about being human. Leadership — not the word itself, full of stereotypes and misconceptions, but its true meaning — is an intrinsically human want to live for and amongst others.

To truly lead in your life is to literally become “more” human.

And the beauty of that is that our shared humanity knows no bounds — our lives are entwined; our fates are shared; and the love that we sow in this life will reach further and endure longer than any act of hatred.

The light of our love is our answer to darkness — like the torch of Lady Liberty herself, and the towering beams of white light that marked where the World Trade Center once stood.

Inhumanity can be conquered by our humanity.

Peace of our time can be wrought through sheer will, and determined hope, and ever-lasting patience, and the hard work to persevere in spite of the blood and tears shed from acts of hatred.

The Only Question to Ask (and How It’s Answered)

In response to a day of hatred and murder that claimed dozens of innocent lives in Norway this past year, Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg declared,

“We will meet this attack with more democracy, more openness, more humanity.”

On this 9/11 anniversary, “Are we safer now?” is not the question to be asked.

Instead, the question to reflect upon — the one to ask that will best ensure our entire species to survive and thrive, freely — is, “Are we more democratic, and more open, and more human now?”

We answer it without examination or debate.

We answer it, individually and together, by living it and breathing it and becoming it — every day.

…With or without followers.

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Photo: Mario Tama/Getty Images

Through the power of choice, POWER FROM WITHIN espouses that may each realize our potential, gifts, and purpose in life; unleashing our limitless potential and enabling every soul to truly thrive.

Why did I release it for free on DaveUrsillo.com? Skip below to read why.

UPDATE May 3rd 2011: I’m happy and honored to announce that POWER FROM WITHIN is now available for purchase and instant download on Amazon Kindle for just $0.99! It will remain free for your reading enjoyment always, but if you’d like to download and own your own copy, head over to Amazon and download it now! :)

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Part One: The Seeds

TOO MANY SOULS shall pass idly through life without blooming into their fullest and most vibrant of colors. The tragedy is not in the shortcoming alone, but that so few realize the extent of their unlimited potential.

For as long as I can remember, I have felt a strong connection to that which I can only describe as something beyond me―a source greater than my individual self.

My name is Dave Ursillo, and I call myself a writer.

I write less by choice than by necessity: each instance that I and others like me put pen to paper, we channel an unremitting drive to express sentiments that originate beyond, as if deeply engrained in a collective consciousness―some universal, human spirit.

To write is to escape; it is an outlet of release. Each strike of ink dispels the pressure like molten rock bursting from beneath Earth’s surface. If only for moments, the burden is lifted.

Me, Dave Ursillo

And as impassioned writers come together to share and improve their craft, on a much greater scale has the entirety of human civilization united over the course of history to collectively advance toward a greater tomorrow. We all are working amongst and on behalf of one another. Each individual contribution is shared by the greater whole―each individual setback is a setback for us all.

Thus, the ideas within the pages of this book feel less like “my own” than an equal possession of every man and woman who ever has and ever shall walk this place called Earth: I am not an inventor, I am not an academic, I am certainly neither a sage nor a clairvoyant; instead, I am an extremely ordinary young man living an ordinary life among millions of others quite like me.

And yet, for all that we as humans share―spanning that collective consciousness; our civilized progression toward an elusive and distant end-goal; and, finally, in our material and physical likeness―each and every individual being is completely exceptional and wholly unique.

No two are truly alike, and within our imperfect completeness, each human being naturally possesses an unlimited wealth of potential for inner growth and self-realization. All of these, when freedoms allow and as nurtured properly, lead to a human life’s greatest and most humble of aspirations: true happiness.

As each human being is unlimited in his or her potential and every soul is entirely and exceptionally one of a kind, I do suppose that this work—having been written by my hand—is in some way unique as well, for it is a piece of me.

Potential, Power & Choice

And it is truly a piece of me: Power from Within is a short manifesto containing a series of deeply-rooted personal beliefs that I strive to live by. These theories are based upon self-discovery, compassion, and selfless giving, among others.

I can only hope that these principles may provide some inspiration or guidance―however major or minor―to readers who so choose to engage them. Of course, what is best for me may not be best for you.

Nevertheless, as of this writing, what I espouse in Power from Within I truly believe with all of my heart and soul. Even if my opinions, beliefs, and living philosophies change as I grow; this book, like all of my writing, will forever carry some part of me with it.

When a human being bears his soul unfettered, he hasn’t so little as a cage of ribs to safeguard his heart. He is vulnerable. Thus, he must be an idealist, or an ideologue, or something in between.

Such is the nature of any dream’s pursuit. There will always exist a caste of onlookers, critics and naysayers who chide a dreamer and say, “What a farce… what an ingrate… what a reject…”. Let them. For, a precious few who might fathom a dreamer’s strife shall stand by his forlorn side and say, “Nay, he is but a leader… a dreamer… a heretic… a renegade…”.

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Part Two: The Soils

WITHOUT THEIR KNOWLEDGE or consent, Seeds of Life are strewn about the Earth: some land in rich soils, others arid wastelands. Although so much is beyond them, all that take root are meant to sprout―each bestowed some chance, however grand or slim, to grow most full.

Seeds of Life

Before we develop a conscious understanding about our world and the nature of life, we are born into a series of circumstances and living conditions that have been influenced beyond our control.

The very creation of our lives was facilitated by others and dictated by chance―a process begun wholly beyond us.

Born a mere fraction of a greater whole, we grow older knowing little but what is before our eyes: a physical environment, a social core, a series of living conditions. With time, we slowly gain greater cognizance of what is around us.

We gradually understand that people, places and things interact as parts of something much larger.

However, we only go so far as to associate our unique surroundings as a representation of the entire status quo: what we see as life is life, and not just for those within our range of vision, but for all who live.

Whether privileged and comfortable or severely disadvantaged and struggling just to survive, the circumstances that we understand to affect the majority within our scope of vision become what we identify to be the terms under which all people live. We innately deduce that that which affects our lives must equally affect the living experiences of everyone else, as well.

It is naïve. But perspective, as they say, is everything.

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To the children of suburbanite America, life ebbs and flows between regimented education and limitless imagination: the confines of school and freedom of play. Each material comfort is as natural as the sun that shines. Vibrant, green grass is plentiful and lonesome, serving in wait to be graced time and again by small, swift feet. This is their world.

Birth Was Beyond Our Choice

To the children of the slums of Calcutta, life ebbs and flows between suffering and stagnancy; sickness and death. Rubbish lines cramped dirt streets like heaps of hay; children frolic among them as obstacles in games of hide-and-seek. Puddles of human waste seep into stale channels of water that are used for washing and drinking all the same. This is their world.

Were it the choice of the seeds alone, they would surely be strewn upon lands of richness and fertility; of peace and tranquility.

Alas, the circumstances of our creation―the very decision that we should be born at all―are forever beyond our control. We have no ability to choose how, why, where or by whom we are brought into this worldly existence. To some, the boundaries and limitations that confine each human being’s creation might appear to be a most great injustice.

However, no matter what soils we are obliged to sprout and live, unlike mere seeds themselves we humans grow into maturity possessing a unique gift―a most powerful tool―that serves to equalize every injustice that we are born into.

This gift is possessed by all human beings and holds the capacity to alter anything in our lives and the lives of all those around us: the power of Choice.

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Part Three: Choosing to Bloom

WE ARE BUT SEEDS! Within the confines of a shell so small lies a wealth of potential for growth and color. To sprout was beyond our will, but to bloom is by our choice alone.

To Bloom: To Flourish from Within

Human beings are exceptionally unique as free-willed creatures.

And though heavy boots of totalitarians and tyrants may march upon our soils, pressing seeds and sprouts and flowers of life into submissive restraint, they can never―and have never―succeeded in wholly conquering the Free Will of the human spirit.

Even amid history’s most horrible instances of mass murder and genocide has the determination and free will of the human spirit persevered to overcome despotism:

• The dark age of slavery gave way to a new nation based upon equal rights and freedoms for all.
• The Jewish Holocaust claimed the lives of millions, and yet failed to shatter the spirits of millions more who chose not to quit but to fight on, to survive, to outlast that tyranny.

Indeed, beyond the litany of differences that characterize the circumstances of our births and the environments we grow into―spanning time, social and political conditions, and physical location―as human beings, the possession of the power of Choice ensures that our potential is always as equal as it is equally unlimited.

Beyond the inequality of the conditions of our lives, the power of Choice is an equalizer―a inherently human force that grants each human being an identical and incredible power.

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We are but seeds!

And the gift of life entitles us to something greater than what is merely before our eyes. This existence, this physical form, is rich with much that is hidden in plain sight. A wealth of gold greater than ten-billion suns is there for all to see, if we merely obtain new sight and view it.

Our happiness, our inherent longing for fulfillment in life, can be discovered in limitless forms and places―our individual and collective happiness can be embodied and achieved in unlimited ways.

The foundation for happiness and worldly fulfillment is already and always in place; all that is needed is wholly within.

This is our gift, our privilege―humanity’s greatest asset. This is our power from within.

By the power of Choice, the child of suburbanite America can one day reach the slums of Calcutta to tend to the sick and educate the illiterate. By the power of Choice, the child of Calcutta can one day raise his family from the destitute wastelands of poverty to the comfortable soils of prosperity, opportunity and new life.

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Begin Your Journey

Of course, Choice alone does not ensure success. The battle is hardly an easy task, and embarking upon a dream’s pursuit does not guarantee the journey will ever be made complete.

Nevertheless, Human Will ensures the equal ability of all human beings to harness the power of Choice and pursue any dream or goal. No dream is ever made real without first the choice to pursue it.

Regardless of what hindrances and injustices hamper our happiness in life, the power Choice always remains an equalizing force that can change our lives for the better―so long as we choose to let it. As Lao Tsu wrote ages ago, “The journey of 1,000 miles begins with one step.”

No matter how distant the vision or dream, nothing but choice can begin the pursuit itself. As human beings, the power of Choice is already and always within us. Any amount of power that we think we might require to pursue happiness and achieve fulfillment can come wholly from within.

We did not choose to be brought into this life, but we can choose how to live it. A litany of circumstances brought us here, influenced by the choices of others and further dictated by chance. Beyond our decision and control, others have obliged us to sprout and to grow.

Nevertheless, from this moment forward―regardless of who we are, what we do or where we live―the choice to grow, to thrive, to truly flourish in life may only be made real by our decision alone.

We must choose to bloom.

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Part Four: Branch Out

WE DO NOT BLOOM for the sake of bearing our colors alone. To choose to bloom is to take up a new and most great purpose in life: beyond the self, on behalf of others. To bloom into new, brilliant color can reverberate with an unbelievable and limitless effect throughout history, for all time. Choose to bloom only if you dare to forever better the world.

Branch Out: Extend Out to Others

A flower blooms to nurture life and continue the existence of its species. As human beings, the survival and perpetuation of our species is analogous, but our purpose in life is hardly so confined.

Modern science has only just begun to confirm what our species has long suspected: the emotion of happiness radically benefits a human being’s quality and length of life. One person’s happiness can go so far as to infinitely improve the quality and length of the lives of others around him or her, as well.

All human emotions, behaviors, attitudes, and lifestyles are literally contagious―they both subtly and overtly influence and affect the lives of the men and women who live among and around us in our social circles.

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As the implications of our attitudes and behaviors can radically alter and affect the lives of those we live among, to strive to better our inner selves means to strive to benefit the lives of everyone around us.

To intently practice to be a better and happier person―to bring out the very best of our unique personalities, talents, gifts, and passions―is not selfish, self-serving, self-centered, or egotistic. To harness power from within is to strive to radically change our world:

• to influence goodness in the lives of those around us by our example;
• to invite the very best in others to emerge and flow forth;
• to live a giving, humble, and compassionate life among our neighbors and in our world as selfless, quiet leaders.

The nature of humans before civilization was simply to survive. The nature of human beings in civilization is to go beyond survival—it is to thrive. To bloom is to harness an amazing power nestled deep within your human core. Call it your Spirit, call it your Soul, call it whatever you will.

Within the heart of each human being, there lies a seed of Hope. Within that seed endures a wealth of potential for happiness and fulfillment―and not just for yourself, alone; but for each and every person whose life you touch.

What we do individually, in this life, and collectively as a human species will pass on to generations after us and reverberate throughout history. What we do individually, within ourselves, can profoundly transform the world.

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Part Five: Bear Your Colors

TO BLOOM IS NOT to bear our colors for ourselves alone. To bloom is to nurture a pollen of love, of compassion; to cultivate the nectar of our talents, gifts and passions. To bloom is to foster the colors of our individuality and our uniqueness from deep within. We choose to bloom so that others whom we encounter―even the strangers who pass us by―might carry with them what we offer, and they to others, infinitely throughout time.

Our Love is Carried On by Others

We choose to bloom not because it is easy, but because the benefits are indisputably real.

That “living” would be forced upon us beyond our choice would appear to be a great injustice. Who is to decide that we should live but ourselves?

And that so many Seeds of Life should be strewn into lands of poverty and pain and suffering, and entirely against their choosing, would seem to be a most harsh and undeserved punishment! But in this world, few things are so overly simplistic.

Life is a precious gift. It is rare, it is fleeting; each instance of life is special, every human soul is unique.

Having been born into this world without any say or opinion is no burden; it is a great miracle, rife with so much opportunity and chance should we muster the courage to embrace it all.

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Out of hundreds of billions of genetic possibilities—a conceivably limitless combination of factors, combinations, influences, causes and effects that could have birthed anyone else… it was you who was born.

Against the greatest odds, you have been bestowed this privilege. Along with that gift, there comes some responsibility―though many are not afforded the liberty to embrace it, and others who may instead choose to neglect it. Although our individual perspectives are confined within the walls of our own minds, we don’t live and die within the confines of our own individual worlds.

The effect of our individual lives reverberates through everyone around us: our families, our friends, our neighbors, our coworkers, and the strangers living among us.

What both benefits and hurts us necessarily benefits and hurts all those whom we encounter. And not just those souls with whom we personally interact, but others who they interact with that very day, and tomorrow, and forever–throughout time. As our lives impact and effect everyone around us, the gift of life also requires us to uphold an important responsibility to live this life most fully, and upon our own terms:

• to follow our hearts;
• to do in life what our spirits call us to pursue;
• to both believe in and live for the betterment of others;
• to go beyond our mere survival… to truly thrive from within.

We may choose to live this life immersed in our world and among all its people, or die having lived in spite of them. The latter is perhaps the greatest regret of all; the former promises a wealth of richness and joy that can–and shall–forever flourish.

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Copyright © 2011 David Ursillo Jr. POWER FROM WITHIN is now available for purchase and instant download on Amazon Kindle for just $0.99. It will remain free for your reading enjoyment always, but if you’d like to download and own your own copy, head over to Amazon and download it now!

“Giving” is one of those muddled-over buzzwords that we overuse so much that it actually loses significant meaning.

It’s like when you hear a social media expert say “engaging in discussion,” or a blogger tell you they are “building a community,” or even politician talking about “change” … your eyes start to gloss over and maybe even roll back into your head. You hear a voice within you crying out, “We get it already!” and any shred of significance in what the person is attempting to say is suddenly lost.

I learned a long time ago that it’s not what you say that counts—it’s what people hear. As such, for someone like me, it’s not enough to tell you how important and amazing and beneficial “giving” is for you and those around you.

Today, I want to invite you to contemplate — just contemplate — the concept of giving as being about manifesting a legacy of love.

You build a legacy of love by acting here and now—in the moment, today.

What you share with others (not so much “things” as the actual act of giving, charity, selflessness, and truly love) builds an eternal channel of positive energy between spirits. This bridge is a potent and powerful one. Even across seas, I’ve realized how the generosity of a friend creates a compelling sensation within me that demands to reciprocate the generosity of another soul: the act of giving feels intrinsically different than “a deduction of my possessions” or “my loss.”

Instead, you want to give because what the other person receives in benefit—the surprise, the gratitude, the enjoyment, the appreciation—is as much a gift to you and your spirit.

This is the essence of giving. This is how you manifest a legacy of love.

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33 Mantras of Giving

1) Giving is my antidote for a societal obsession with “more”.

2) I gain from what I give, not always in sums or quantities; but in space, time and freedom.

3) When I give with earnest intentions, I reap a bond between giver and recipient that lasts infinitely.

4) The purest form of my giving is that which no one notices—only feels—because giving is owed no accolade.

5) The sun gives without question; it expects nothing in return.

6) The greatest current of the human spirit is love. When I give, I accelerate that current like great river rapids; the force moves everyone and everything in its path.

7) When you give until it hurts, you feel what Love is. When you give beyond its hurt, you know what Love is.

8) I give beyond my means, because the richness of my spirit is boundless.

9) I give at my inconvenience, for providing for another is greater than the simple cost of my time, energy and attention.

10) Giving diffuses my Ego—the great hoarder.

11.) Pure as the air, gentle as a passing breeze, a selfless act goes so unnoticed. But, the wind carries pollens of love that life could not survive without.

12) Draw back the shades I hide behind, I own my face for Love is blind. The flower that dares to stretch toward the sun is the flower that bears brilliant colors of love.

The Nature of Giving

13) When I give for impure reasons, only the recipient gains. When I give for pure reasons, we both are the better for it.

14) We live among and for one another, not against and in spite of others. To better one is to better all.

15) When a tree bears more leaves and fruit than it can hold, a branch may break, but the tree stands tall.

16) Like a star’s light eons and ages away, and act of giving endures forever—even if the action itself has long since expired.

Giving and Receiving

17) I distinguish “giving from love” from “giving to portray love.”

18) Giving is not alone the exchange of goods and desireables, but life lessons and discipline.

19) Only giving toys to win the affection of children is to confine their love to the toybox.

20) For me to give someone my “quiet” is to give my understanding, deep listening, and earnest compassion.

21) I give myself credit not because it is owed, but because it is earned within myself.

Giving for Myself and Others

22) To give yourself appreciation and love is not vain; it is humble acceptance. Self-love teachers others to accept themselves as wholes.

23) I loathe in others only what I loath about myself. When I give peace to those whom I judge, unfair judgments of myself diminish.

24) Enemies who challenge me, hate me, and hurt me, give me the means to evolve. Rock could not turn to fine, beautiful sand without the pummel of violent waves.

25) I give myself opportunities to grow by giving myself opportunities to fail.

26) Giving beyond myself does not always win hearts. Indeed, it can blind me to think our love offered is so loved by another. But, all the same, giving beyond myself teaches others that they are worthy of such love.

Giving Quietly

27) I give loudly only to conceal quiet gifts I give that ought to go so unnoticed.

28) Suffering entraps my attention; I suffer further. When I suffer but choose to give my attention to others, I am freed.

29) I give others chances for redemption, because forgiveness is the Great Liberator.

30) I always remember to give myself a break.

31) I give others the benefit of the doubt.

32) I give others the opportunity to laugh at me, because humility never hurts anything but my ego.

33) When I hoard or deprave another of my giving, I only extend a trend that has caused my own suffering.

Action Point:

What would you add to the list? Why? And what do you believe helps to builds your legacy of love?

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Flickr photo credit: karamsingh