Being ‘Unapologetically You’ Doesn’t Mean Going It Alone (At Least, Not Anymore)

Things change when you start to become more and more “you.”

You will outgrow some friendships. Your relationships will change.

Friends who you’ve spent years with suddenly start acting differently around you. Peers you’ve known forever don’t see eye to eye with you anymore. Some of the people around you won’t relate to you in the same ways as years before.

You’re heading in different direction now, it seems. 

Some of the things you’ve loved, those change too. You’ll start to feel less passionate about the things you were once so passionate about. You realize that you’ll have to erase some old pastimes and hobbies and interests in order to make room for the new interests, people and passions in your life.

Even those “same old, same old” interactions at your job, local cafe or hometown bar will start to feel drier, emptier, or even frustrating to you.

As you become more and more “unapologetically you,” things start to change.

It can be scary. It can feel completely strange and totally uncertain.

But what is it that’s really changing?

When you become “more and more you,” you break the hamster wheel.

You take yourself out of your comfort zones and learn more about yourself than you ever thought possible. You look in the mirror and can barely recognize who this “new you” is.

When you break the hamster wheel, you begin to see yourself, your life, your relationships and your friendships with completely new eyes. The prism is wiped clean; the lens is renewed.

In Hindu and Buddhist traditions, longtime habits and patterns of thinking or behavior are called Samskara. We refer to Samskara often in yoga, too.

Samskara are like paths with deep grooves that we’ve walked in for years. It feels comfortable and familiar to walk in them. It’s easy to think in those usual patterns because it’s a default setting for us.

It’s habit. Instinct. Cruise control.

What is it that’s pushing you to become “more and more you” these days?

Maybe the predictability of your life has sparked a ridiculous urge for change. For an improvised adventure. A booked plane ticket to anywhere that’s not here. You wish to read more or explore foreign lands, to connect with new people or dive deep into ancient and revered philosophies.

Maybe you’re desperate to win the lottery if it just means that you can do something new, go somewhere different or try something risky and freeing and “wild” that isn’t this same old path–the same old groove that you’re living in, the same old path that you’re walking, the same Samskara.

Here’s what most people don’t realize until it’s too late:

When the novelty of new surroundings beings to subside, you’re left viewing the world from the same prism. Your mind.

When what looks so different and feels so fresh becomes expected and familiar and old, the ways in which you view yourself (and the world around) you quietly start to slide back back into those old patterns of thought and habit.

Take it from someone who’s not had a boss besides himself for 5 years. Who’s written 500 essays, worked with over 100 clients, and tried-and-failed dozens upon dozens of projects. Take it from someone who’s traveled 38,000 miles last year, lived in the heart of New York City for a year and from Hawaii for 5 weeks–who’s backpacked through the United Kingdom and Iceland, spoken before an audience of 200 and had a book proposal rejected 200 times, and beyond.

Change the setting, and yes, you shake things up.

Change the background, and indeed, you see the world–and yourself–in new ways.

But when enough time passes, you’re still you.

You’re still left seeing the world through your lens. Your viewpoint. Your soul.

Here’s the great news. You can clean your lens. Polish and prime it. Change how you look through it.

And what you focus on. And how you value the beauty of what you see.

You possess this infinite power–choice–and through some hard-earned lessons and plenty of dedication and commitment, no matter who you are or what you do you can start living a brand new life from exactly where you are today.

It begins by becoming more and more “unapologetically you.”

Introducing: The U Crew. A New Group to Help You Get ‘More You.’

I’m excited to announce the debut of a brand new project that I’m starting called, The U Crew.

The U Crew is a place where “you” can be “you.”

And, where you can be you alongside other men and women who, like you, are on their own personal missions to become more and more “unapologetically” themselves–and, across the broad spectrum of their lives: from work and their passions, crafts and talents to their personal relationships and family lives, even in their backyards, hometowns and local communities.

Oftentimes, becoming more “unapologetically ourselves” means we outgrow old relationships and friendships. Suddenly, you’re a different person than you have been. And your loved ones and friends have never truly met this “New You.”

Hell, you are still getting to know yourself–so you can’t expect everyone around you to always understand your changing wants, needs, goals and perspectives.

But that’s why The U Crew exists. 

The U Crew is a community of peers who support one another as each member goes through his or her changes, iterations, evolutions and revelations. This group will be led by me personally through live question-and-answer calls where there are no rules and no holds barred: just pure, intense conversation to explore our obstacles, hangups and hold-ups.

As you learn and grow and get to know more about yourself, The U Crew will help you navigate the terrain of a happy and healthy life.

The U Crew will help you pursue that noble goal in alignment to your inner truth and your deepest personal values, like creating meaningful work, pursuing your passions, embracing an attitude of loving kindness in your daily life, and embracing a sense of truly authentic self-expression.

Being “unapologetically you” doesn’t have to mean “doing it all in your own.”

I’m debuting the The U Crew on  Monday, March 10, 2014  with a completely free, 1-hour call featuring a teaching and live Q+A call. That’s two weeks from today.

Join me for a free 1-hour call on Monday, March 10, 2014 at 9PM Eastern (6PM Pacific)

We learn about ourselves when we’re among people. We learn about ourselves through people.

That’s why I’m forming The U Crew.

We become more “unapologetically ourselves” by discovering more of who we are and what we desire. We learn and grow by doing things like asking meaningful questions and having honest conversations. We become more “unapologetically ourselves” when we experiment and explore, dig deep into our heads and open up our hearts.

When you surround yourself with incredibly kind and supportive people who “get you” on a soul-level, they start to reflect your truth back to you. You see more clearly. You see more of the true you, staring back.

In a world that seems to be constantly telling you to become something you’re not, I believe in everything that you already are.

Being “unapologetically you” is your ultimate freedom. It’s where lifelong joy is found.

It’s how you begin to craft a lasting legacy of love on behalf of the world around you.

What questions do you have for me on living your unapologetic life, starting now?

What obvious obstacles are you facing? What are the biggest hang-ups, sticking points and struggles that spring to mind? What is most exciting about the idea of being “more and more you” in your work, relationships and beyond?


Join me for an amazing 1-hour call on Monday, March 10, 2014 at 9PM Eastern (6PM Pacific)

Here’s to The U Crew, and you being you,


P.S. – Even if you can’t make the live call, sign up. I’ll send you the full recording and some call notes afterwards.

P.P.S. – Update (3/15/2014): You can now stream the entire 75-minute call below! In this debut call to open the doors of The U Crew, I explored some key fundamentals of what I believe it means to be “Unapologetically You” in practice, dissecting some aspects of the philosophy and ideals of being “whole” and “complete” within yourself. Enjoy:


gems-180“There are times in your life when you stumble across a remarkable human who is capable of remarkable connection. Dave Ursillo is that person. His poetic wisdom is intoxicating. His ability to dance between raw vulnerability and profound strength is captivating. Within moments of meeting him I was already a better writer and thinker. He inspires me to ask questions that matter and write with purpose. On the surface, Dave looks like a talented writer who has a knack for deep connection. But really, Dave is a revolution–of thinking, of writing, of loving, of living.”Gemma Stone, M.A., R.Psych[/testi]

karls“There are people that are just meant to change lives. They can’t help themselves. We need people like this in our lives. Dave is one of them. He takes a question and goes deeper than you expected. He was able to uncover answers to my questions that help people see hidden emotional issues that you wouldn’t expect.”Karl Staib, President of Domino Connection
sallyh“Dave is the kind of person I turn to as a friend, colleague, and generally cool ass dude whenever I need a bit of support and wisdom from a guy that I know knows his shit. I love collaborating with Dave because every time I get off the phone with him, I’m more inspired, feel more capable, and feel like I just talked to Buddha himself. He’s that good.”Sally Hope, Founder of The Wildheart Revolution

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