You’re Not Alone (But I Understand How You Feel)

Isolation is the antithesis of our natural humanity.

Sure, a Buddhist monk can sit under a tree for hours and days on end, meditating on life, peace and suffering.

But raw isolation itself — the mere feeling of being disconnected from other people,  uninvolved in the lives of others, even wandering down the street and feeling so desperately alone — is the absolute epitome of human hell.

The heart screams for connection. The spirit demands interaction, just one smile. To, by chance, with a single glance, meet another’s eyes — the very gateway to the soul.

That’s because humanity is social by its nature. We are communal, we are come-together-to-survive, we are unite-to-create, we are share-and-explore. Humanity’s evolution and survival over the course of history has depending upon unity, togetherness and teamwork.

Your very survival depended upon others right from your birth.

A newborn baby can’t fend for itself, feed itself, hold up its own head or even crawl. Human beings are uniquely dependent upon others to survive — whereas baby mammals start walking within seconds of their births, starting right away to join and learn from the herd.

Human children are completely dependent upon others to survive — and, as adults, human beings naturally long for human connection, contact, experience and immersion.

The great news is that, no matter who you are or where you are — especially in this connected day and age…

…You are not alone.

 

Isolated? How to Connect More

Last Saturday, I quietly marked the three year “anniversary” of when I quit my last job. There was no birthday cake, Burger King crown (or a sparkly tiara, ladies), or special outfit to commemorate the occasion. Instead, I celebrated by doing what I’ve gotten used to doing here in New York City:

I went out with friends. I got my dance on. I met new people, made a few new friends, shared experiences, had conversations, watched people laugh and have fun… and even taught a few people how to Dougie.

(…That’s right.)

In other words, I celebrated my three year “I Quit” anniversary by being with people. And I celebrated in that way, because I remember how awful I felt three years prior, when I was depressed, aimless, hopeless and feeling totally alone.

Alone with my thoughts. Those horrible, oppressive thoughts.

Alone from my best friends, who were all living and working elsewhere.

And then, suddenly, after quitting my job, I was alone again — on my own without “a path” to tread, hoping somehow that I could make distant dreams an actual reality.

Isolation is hell. And the feeling of physical isolation from people, as well as the mental-emotional isolation you feel within yourself is the deepest of all hells — the hell that demands you change, or break. Alter course, or crash. Escape, or implode.

Depression is not by chance, my friend! It’s your soul screaming, your heart beating, God Himself shaking you awake:

“It is not your place to be here, you are not meant to feel this — and you do not deserve it.”

Depression is all of the Love of this life teasing you with a playful game of tag — enticing you so clearly to just stand up, to just start chasing after it.

You will win.

She wants you to win.

You are not alone. You’re not all on your own. I know what you’re going through. Many people do! There are countless thousands of men and women just like you — and, many who are in no way like you — but who feel and are going through the exact same things.

This is a human condition: a natural response to the feeling of disconnect from others. A natural longing for connecting, empathy, understanding, compassion, love, relatability, community, togetherness, union.

The isolation needs to end. The on-my-own-ness, the no-one-understands-me… We’ve got to break that cycle. We need to kick that isolation, that loneliness, that feeling of hell square in the ass.

Stand up, right now.

Cross one foot over the other. Slowly drag it back where it belongs — definitely draw that line in the sand.

Cross that line.

And you don’t need to be clinically depressed, feeling totally desperate, or feel like you’re suffering from a crisis to feel that terrible feeling of isolation. Just feeling alone feels like shit. One of the reasons I moved to New York City was to be so utterly surrounded by new faces, new people, and new experience that I literally could not escape it — and I love it.

And the saddest part is that we’ve never had more potential to be connected with so many people, every day, thanks to social networking and new methods and means of connecting with people on a near daily basis.

But those tech-connections usually just feel so… artificial. Superficial. Self-serving and not meaningful, loving, deep, personal.

But damn, it is still an amazing tool with incredible reach and limitless potential to unite and connect people, intimately.

Which recently got me and a friend thinking…

 

“What can we do to help connect people with others, on a much more ‘human’ level?”

I was talking about this with my buddy Jacob Sokol from Sensophy last week. We want to be facilitators, connectors, conduits, proponents of community and togetherness, and do our part as givers to bring people together — and to help you escape those feelings of isolation.

We hear this stuff often from readers, especially 20-somethings who, like we once were, feel aimless and confused about their direction in life and who desperately want to find and live their purpose.

That’s why Jacob and I are getting together and hosting a completely free, no-catch, no bullshit, very small (only 15 invitees) and very meaningful conference call this coming Tuesday, May 29th at 8:00 PM EST.

We’re personally reaching out to and inviting 15 readers from our communities to join in on an hour-long conference call together about how to find your purpose and how to leverage your life’s purpose to come together with others, experience life in new ways, and begin living purpose every day — something that’s near and dear to both of our hearts.

 Does this sound like something you’d really love to participate in? 

Don’t wait to be picked. Tell me you want in:

 

Reserve Your Spot

Can’t see the button above? Click here to email me and reserve your spot. There’s no criterion. You don’t need to prove anything. Just drop me a line, say,

“Dave, I’d like to spend an hour jammin’ with you, Jacob and 14 other people like me who want to live a life of purpose.”

Boom, done, you’re in. 

We’re asking participants to have one question ready that you’re dying to ask about finding your life’s purpose, living your purpose, and taking some real, honest action on how to start pursuing it — today.

I’ll e-mail you back the details of where and how to join our call on Tuesday, May 29th at 8:00 PM EST.

Remember: You’re not alone, you’re never alone. I want to hear your voice, because we all need to hear it. Get in touch, and we’ll rock this call on Tuesday.

Flickr photo credit: JD Hancock

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